Thursday, August 28, 2008

In Cleavage and in Saggage...

I've noticed something in the last couple of days.

Something that is not entirely good, something that indicates that I'm... not as young as I used to be. Something that has obviously snuck up on me (or slumped down on me) when I wasn't looking.

I generally expect my figure to be a little flatter and lower hung on washing day. That's only to be expected because I wear my 'Washing Day Bra' A.K.A. 'The Oldest, Least Favourite Foundational Undergarment Available' to avoid the 'why didn't I wash that one?' regret later in the week. In fact, you probably don't want to visit me on washing day because I'm just sitting here trying to remember the last time I washed my Washing Day Bra. Hmmm.

Anyway, back to the story. When I looked down earlier this week, I was slightly disturbed to think that things were just not quite right. It was even worse when it then hit me that not only was it not washing day, but that I was wearing my absolutely favourite, newest bra.

Since then (and I'm not entirely free from embarrassment mentioning this) I've been checking things out. Yep. There is definitely a softening, and I'm very nearly certain that things are a bit lower than I remember. Things seem sort of flatter, and that maybe the recent decrease in my bust measurement is nothing to do with my latest fitness craze and that I've lost some fat across my shoulder blades, but that things just aren't as firm as they used to be. Then I panicked thinking of all those little old ladies who only have the belt of their granny-dresses holding them up.

OK, so it's not that bad...yet. And there is no reason that I ever have to wear a granny-dress.

I asked Hubby for his opinion. He didn't want to go there, and I really can't blame him. It does remind me of a line from a book I read ages ago where the wedding vows read,
"For richer, for poorer,
In sickness and in health,
In cleavage and in saggage,
As long as you both should live"
You're stuck with me now, sweetie.

In some ways this is worse than when my best friend from high school and I realised that we were starting to get little lines around our eyes. This sign of aging can't be removed by skin creams or taking off my glasses.

The chances that it's not all 'downhill' from here?

... Approximately None *huge sigh*

14 comments:

Givinya De Elba said...

Oh No! I understand you! It's terribly terribly sad. I am feeling the need to set aside an embarrassingly huge amount of money and head off to David Jones to get some terribly expensive bras that do a very good job.

In cleavage and in saggage. How sad.

Swift Jan said...

See, when you have breast fed this happens a little earlier!
So even at 27 (wink wink) I can sympathise!! *sigh* 'tis sad isn't it....

I bet the boys didn't think about cleavage and saggage when they said I do! Well probably clevage...

((hugs))

Hippomanic Jen said...

Givinya - yeah, well - due to size I've had to buy the incredibly expensive ones that are designed by a structural engineer for some years now. Obviously there's a limit to what they can do.

Swift Jan - I thought about the whole breast feeding thing, but only have the word of others to go on about the effects. I loved your comment about the cleavage. Yes, that would probably be in the boys' minds.

Crazy Sister said...

It's suppose to be the preggy hormones, not the feeding, that does the sagging.

Tiny titties have their advantages. Bra? What Bra? Give me one of those teenage support singlets and I'm happy.

Hippomanic Jen said...

Crazy Sister, I hate you...in love. :)

Leslie said...

Yeah, I believe that breasts alter shape during pregnancy. :) lol

But TELL ME about the changes in shape as you get older.

9 years ago I threw away my swim suit bottoms. I kept the top part and can wear it with board shorts.

Lilly's Life said...

Here from WTBAY! Loved this post - its all true and its all down hill. The only consolation is our eyesight goes too so we dont notice as much...thanks for the smile!

le said...

well Jen if it all gets too much and the shape really depletes you could always go the old chicken fillet in fills .... add back the bounce that nature doth destroy .. hugs le

le said...

well Jen if it all gets too much and the shape really depletes you could always go the old chicken fillet in fills .... add back the bounce that nature doth destroy .. hugs le

Dee said...

At least you don't have kids to notice, laugh at and question why your cleavage is saggy and jiggly.... sigh...

Joce said...

Don't despair Jen, you're only as old as you think you are. And just in case you think that's a bit rich coming from someone on the other side of 30 (though only just). Then I just want to add that this kid thinks her 50+ Mum looks better than she ever has!
(I've heard its all about the right garments.. but really, I do think its about embracing life) ;)

June Saville said...

Just wait until you're 70 Plus Jen!
Isaac Newton's apple isn't in the league ...
June

Louisa said...

I love that you wrote this post...don't love that it's something we all face. AH!

BGSydneyside said...

LOL
I love that quote about cleavage and saggage- kind of romantic in a totally not romantic way.
Belinda