Friday, October 3, 2008

The Slaggin' Dragon

Why does laundry day come around so regularly?

And why is there always some garment that needs special attention?

My Beloved had blood on one of his shirts. And in a shirt with striped sections why did it have to be on the white, rather than the bottle green?

My Mum has passed on a number of laundry tips over the years, for example oily stains can be removed with a combination of Sunshine Soap and Spit. Sounds lovely and alliterative, but is just plain disgusting. Apparently there are greeblies in saliva that break down oily substances. And it works. But it's disgusting and I hate doing it. None of the pre-wash stain removers seem to get the residual oil out, even if they take out any colour associated with the stain - so I spit.

The other one (that's actually relevant to today's post) stems from when Mum did a couture dressmaking course years ago. Apparently all dressmakers live in dread of accidentally pricking themselves on a pin when making a wedding dress and leaving a tiny blood spot on the snowy fabric. And Mum was given the top secret, fail-safe remedy for this disaster.

At this point, I think I should warn Givinya that she proceeds at her own peril. She is the one person I know who can both identify my Mum and also had her wedding dress made by Mum. Mind you, I don't think she needed to use this special method on your dress, but I can't be certain.

So it turns out saliva works here, too. But according to Mum it has to be the saliva of the bleedee. Now I can see everyone reading this who has ever been married is wondering if the dressmaker pricked themselves. This would mean that on the one day of our lives that we looked most radiant, wearing the most expensive dress we have ever worn, we may have been walking around in the only dress we've ever owned that has been spat on. Congratulations!

Mum made my wedding dress, but as if I'd worry. She used to spit on a tissue and clean my face with it! How's spitting on a dress going to hurt?

Back to my Beloved's shirt. It was his blood. He was at work. I thought I'd try the ol' spit method anyway. I don't know whether it's that Mum's right that it has to be the bleedee that spits, or whether my saliva hasn't had the chance to be turned into an industrial strength cleaner with the aid of pregnancy hormones. How much effect did it have?

...Approximately None.

6 comments:

Jen said...

this is a great post. Thanks for teaching me the one thing that I needed to learn today.
I am with you on the laundry day, it could totally take a week off.

femina said...

Are you going to try re-washing it with HIS spit? Although the experiment may be corrupted now that you've washed it once already. (Hmmm... unless you make him bleed again... all for the sake of science, naturally...)

Hippomanic Jen said...

Mum says the spit method works. She uses it, and it works. Of course, she does it as soon as it happens and uses her own spit. The garment doesn't get found 3 days later in the bottom of the laundry basket with a dried brown stain.

I think the easier option is to declare the shirt for yard work only. It's old.

Crazy Sister said...

Firstly, what do you mean by laundry "day"? Every day is blinkin' laundry day here.

I've never bothered to remove blood from Mr Crazy's shirts - as a cop, blood is an occupational hazard, and he gets issued with a replacement shirt.

And no way am I popping over to the watchhouse to ask some hep C infested miscreant to spit on my laundry.

Givinya De Elba said...

My sister cracks me up.

Ah see, the trick is getting to the stain immediately. I just use soap and water immediately and it works. I think using anything immediately works doesn't it?

Usually here, garments "get found 3 days later in the bottom of the laundry basket with a dried brown stain."

Very interested to see your stat counter and notice that someone found you by searching for the term "wile e. coyote drumsticks."

Yeh, way to go.

Dee said...

reminds me of My Big Fat Greek Wedding when they spit on her while walking down the aile for good luck.

Yours is a great blog.