Pardon me, my mistake...

You see, I thought it was amusing.



Inspired by the sight of our newly laid-aside television tucked into a space in a spare bedroom while the newly dead microwave sits on top of the bar freezer in the kitchen, I began to reflect on what would happen if all the appliances we had ever owned still lived with us, despite their not-entirely-working-properly status.



I went on to actually write it after I noticed that we do still have a computer monitor and my Beloved's Dad's very-nearly-dead television floating around in the garage. Both of which we have moved twice and paid for shed storage for (among lots of other stuff) while we built our house, and have somehow missed elimination during junk-tossing sessions.



But it's reassuring to know that the spirit of YouTube commenters exist in the most balanced and reasonable of my internet visitors.



But at least here there has been how much profanity or name-calling?

The Mathematical Conundrum of Fatima and Bruce

Once upon a time there were a young couple who were married.

Let's call them "Fatima" and "Bruce".

Let's stipulate that in the year 2011 they would celebrate their tenth wedding anniversary.

Let's also make the disclaimer that any resemblance to persons living or dead is entirely accidental. Even if there were elements of truth, they haven't been allowed to get in the way of a good story.

When they married, they joined all their wordly goods. (Neither of them had much in the way of expensive wordly goods, but they joined them just the same.)

This meant that they had:-
Washing machines: 2 (one newish automatic and an old twin-tub)
Microwaves: 2 (both in use)
Televisions: 2
VCRs: 2 (One that showed snowy/stripes when you viewed videos, but would record ok; one that you couldn't record on, but you could view clear images on if you could be bothered to get up to press the buttons on the machine because the remote had gone AWOL)
Fridges/Freezers: 1 fridge/freezer. 1 fridge. 1 bar freezer.
Computers: 2 (both reasonably old and put together out of old bits by their brothers)
Stereos: 2 (1 turn-table and cassette; 1 CD and cassette)

Because they lived out of town, they swapped the newish automatic washing machine for a nearly new twin tub because the older one was not pumping out properly. So now they had:-
Washing machines: 2 (one newish twin tub and a dead twin-tub)
Microwaves: 2 (both in use)
Televisions: 2
VCRs: 2 (both dodgy, but usable within constraints)
Fridges/Freezers: 1 fridge/freezer. 1 bar freezer. 1 now dead fridge.
Computers: 2 (now combined to make 1 better one and 1 dead one)
Stereos: 2 (1 turn-table and cassette; 1 CD and cassette)


Then, sadly, Bruce's Dad died in 2003. There was some stuff that was added to the household. So now they had:-
Washing machines: 2 (one newish twin-tub and a dead twin-tub)
Microwaves: 2 (both in use)
Televisions: 4 (including one that had a yellowish picture and one B&W)
VCRs: 2 (Possibly 3 for all Fatima knows. 2 dodgy, but usable within constraints; and possibly a nearly dead one hiding in the garage)
Fridges/Freezers: 1 fridge/freezer. 1 bar freezer. 1 dead fridge.
Computers: 2 (now combined to make 1 better one and 1 dead one)
Stereos: 3 (2 turn-table and cassette; 1 CD and cassette)

Then in 2005 Fatima decided that it would be useful to be able to veiw DVDs. This might also mean that they could have one reliable VCR machine if they got a DVD/VCR. She also started working from home and needed an up-to-date computer. So now they had:-
Washing machines: 2 (one newish twin-tub and a dead twin-tub)
Microwaves: 2 (both in use)
Televisions: 4 (2 usable, 2 dead)
DVD or VCRs: 3 (One that worked; 2 (possibly 3) that were dead)
Fridges/Freezers: 1 fridge/freezer. 1 bar freezer. 1 dead fridge.
Computers: 3 (1 good one. 2 dead ones)
Stereos: 3 (2 turn-table and cassette; 1 CD and cassette)

Then they were living in town again and Fatima's grandmother kindly passed on her old automatic washing machine. So now they had:-
Washing machines: 3 (1 older automatic; 1 newish twin-tub and a dead twin-tub)
Microwaves: 2 (both in use)
Televisions: 3 (including one that had a yellowish picture and one B&W)
DVD or VCRs: 3 (One that worked; 2 (possibly 3) that were dead)
Fridges/Freezers: 1 fridge/freezer. 1 bar freezer. 1 dead fridge.
Computers: 3 (1 good one. 2 dead ones)
Stereos: 3 (2 turn-table and cassette; 1 CD and cassette)

Then the washing machine started making odd noises. Bruce fixed it, but it wasn't really healthy. But that's ok, because Fatima's other grandmother moved into a nursing home and gave them her old-ish automatic. So now they had:-
Washing machines: 4 (1 older automatic; 1 working twin-tub and 2 dead)
Microwaves: 2 (both in use)
Televisions: 3 (including one that had a yellowish picture and one B&W)
DVD or VCRs: 3 (One that worked; 2 (possibly 3) that were dead)
Fridges/Freezers: 1 fridge/freezer. 1 bar freezer. 1 dead fridge.
Computers: 3 (1 good one. 2 dead ones)
Stereos: 3 (2 turn-table and cassette; 1 CD and cassette)

Then this year they decided that since analog TV is going out later in the year, it would be good to have a digital television and recorder and to take advantage of the post-Christmas sales. So then they had:-
Washing machines: 4 (1 older automatic; 1 working twin-tub and 2 dead)
Microwaves: 2 (both in use)
Televisions: 5 (1 digital, 2 dodgy analog, and 2 dead analog)
DVD or VCRs: 3 (One that worked; 2 (possibly 3) that were dead)
Fridges/Freezers: 1 fridge/freezer. 1 bar freezer. 1 dead fridge.
Computers: 3 (1 good one. 2 dead ones)
Stereos: 3 (2 turn-table and cassette; 1 CD and cassette)

Then the bigger and better of the 2 microwaves died. This means that they now have:-
Washing machines: 4 (1 older automatic; 1 working twin-tub and 2 dead)
Microwaves: 3 (2 in use, 1 dead)
Televisions: 5 (1 digital, 2 dodgy analog, and 2 dead analog)
DVD or VCRs: 3 (One that worked; 2 (possibly 3) that were dead)
Fridges/Freezers: 1 fridge/freezer. 1 bar freezer. 1 dead fridge.
Computers: 3 (1 good one. 2 dead ones)
Stereos: 3 (2 turn-table and cassette; 1 CD and cassette)

Their mathematical conundrum is this:-

If the garage has 35 square metres left over for storage of dead appliances after the car is parked in it, how many years can Fatima and Bruce remain married?

How close does this story come to truth?
...Hmmmm.

That would be wrong, right?

I was waiting for Givinya to have lunch together, given that I was in town for the day.

There were some 1/2 price calendars.

One had Jack Russell terrier puppies on it.

I had been wondering why people buy Jack Russell dogs. I now know. It's a pity the calendar doesn't come with a sound track to turn you off.

And it wouldn't have been healthy to buy the calendar for violent destruction purposes when the ones next door have been barking for 2 1/2 hours straight, right?

Some pics

Please remember when looking at these images that they are the impressive parts of the flood. I have not taken photos of all the dry land and the thousands of houses that are high and dry.

That's not to dismiss the fact that people have had water into homes and businesses, just that it's only a small part of the developed area of town that is inundated.

By the way, we are high and dry still.

And if we weren't Queensland would REALLY be in trouble...

... and so would western New South Wales...

...and South Australia, for that matter.

This is our dam on Sunday. All seven gates were open and letting water out. Although this water doesn't flow through our town, it could cause the floodwater to back up. Later that night they closed back down to two gates. The second image shows the raging floodwaters below the dam. Thankfully there are some conveniently placed people to give you an idea of scale.

This is a veiw from a hill to the west of town, looking to the north-east across farmland, the racecourse and sports fields:

This is the Wallace Street Bridge (yes, there is usually a bridge there, but it does go under pretty early):

Surf's up on the turf! You can see the racecourse fences here (only thanks to my handy zoom):

This is the last bridge to go under. No-one is going back to the residential area on the other side of the river tonight:

Our favourite cafe with the best cheesecake in Australia... and a television?

The highway bridge with people who live on the other side of the river doing exactly what we were all doing on this side of the river:

The high school agriculture block. It often goes under, but not usually like this:

My high school oval. It's another one that goes under regularly, but not like this:

Looking south up the highway:

Looking north up the highway:

Across the school oval at sunset. Don't usually get sunsets over water in town here.

We did a trip to town between 9.30-9.50 tonight. It seems that the peak has passed now and the water is going down (unless there's more coming because it was still raining on the hills today).

And how much more rain do we need right now?

We're Okay

Just so you know.

For those not familiar with Queensland geography, we aren't in the same catchment as Toowoomba, so are not one of the "surrounding towns" for the purposes of a 2.5 metre wall of water.

We are, however, having our own little flood right here as a result of heaps of rain falling on the nearby hills. The highways are all cut off, the main bridge is under and they're expecting about another 3 metres of water in the next day or so.

The dam was at 104% Sunday, and they have to release water. It's downstream of town, but the water will be competing with the Condamine for room where they join up, and that will back up water into town.

The old dam to the south is full and flowing madly. We can see that creek from our back windows, and it does go through town. I had never seen it over the bridge to the industrial estate before December, but now the dam is full there isn't any detention capacity. So it flows, ready or not.

Our favourite cafe has waterfront views, but another three metres will not be kind to them. They pulled everything left after the last flood out Sunday afternoon.

So the scuttlebut is that we're expecting a re-run of our 1976 floods. They put out a call for blokes to move the oldies in the Council-owned pensioner units. There are sandbags available to those who need them. People from out of town are stuck at home and can't get in to work.

My Beloved came home at 1pm yesterday, because all the roads to the industrial estate were going to flood. He couldn't get there this morning, either, so he's hanging around like a bad smell.

There was a funeral in our church this morning, and there are people stuck here. A strange fact you may never have thought about is that you can't actually bury someone in this weather. They can't dig holes.

There are some shops closed and it's almost like a festival atmosphere in some areas. Most of town will be high and dry, so there are only some homes and businesses who will lose property. Others (like my Beloved) will lose work days and therefore won't be making money.

The very sad thing is that this water will be heading downstream to Condamine, Dalby, St George and all those places that have been impacted by the last lot of floodwater. And they are flat, so don't have anywhere to go.

The upshot is that we're okay and I might get organised for some photos a little later on. Just wanted to let you know that we are high and dry and if we weren't most of town would be under. But really, the chance I'll get around to two posts in one day?

Just so you know, I still love rain.

Today is the day when as many of Mum's brothers and sisters and spouses and my cousins get together. Because we live in the same town as my grandparents and grandad has trouble travelling these days, the party is normally here in town.

So we were all systems go this end.

And it rained.

And the first lot coming from Brisbane couldn't get through because the highway was cut about 20mins from here.

Then the lot from Toowoomba couldn't get through.

Then the second lot from Brisbane who were bringing my uncle, who had flown down from Townsville as a surprise, couldn't get through.

Then the lot from Toowoomba rang to say the road was cut on the way back to Toowoomba, and they'd had to get accommodation in the little town half-way home.

Then we got a photo emailed of both lots from Brisbane because they'd had a party at a stop half-way back to Brisbane.

So Mum, Dad, my Beloved and I jumped in the car and did the flood tour of the town we live in. Some bridges that I've never seen under are under, and it's very likely the main bridge into town will go under tonight or tomorrow when the water from up-stream gets here.

Then we got home and my Beloved was looking for his shovel to shift a tree that is not happy in our backyard and he found a little situation:-

This is our house. We are built on a slope, so the garage is downstairs at the back, but the front is not full head-height.

This means that there's a space under the front part of the house which is not built in. My Beloved has been very clever and put drainage channels to stop the water getting in under the house.

Unfortunately this meant that water that gets in can't get out. We inadvertantly had a good start for the first canine hydrotherapy pool in town.

My Beloved dug a ditch to let the water out. The LBD 'helped'.

There must have been about 5cms of water lying against the slab for the garage floor.

And this is part of the culprit. The ground is so sopping wet that we have springs developing in the cutting under the house. There were a number of spots leaking.

It seems the project to get a retaining wall and put a concrete slab that drains to the outside may be more of a priority than we thought.

How much more rain do we need around here?

Why I had to go to Donut King.

I celebrated the death of four kilos today.

You'd think that as a result I'd be bouyed up with resolve to hold onto it for the next week of plenty of opportunity to eat very badly indeed.

But no.

You see, I had to go to Donut King.

And they sell warm, cinnamony, sugary donuts there.

And I love warm, cinnamony, sugary donuts.

I avoid the shopping centre like the plague because they have a Donut King.

But today I just had to go.

Why? You may ask.

My Grandad likes thickshakes.

We usually buy him a voucher for Donut King so that he can get some when he goes up the street (he doesn't get out all that much anymore). The man who owns the shop knows him and has been known to make the thickshake so thick you can hardly suck it up through the straw. He's also happy to cross off part of the value of the voucher so that Grandad can have multiple trips. This is the beauty of living in a country town.

So I went to buy a voucher for my Grandad.

...and I smelled the doughyness of the cooking donuts.

And the chance that leaving the shopping centre my mouth didn't have that delightful doughy tongue-sticking-to-my-hard-palate post-donut sensation?