I now know why we never covered participles in High School

The reason is not (as I have previously suspected) that Education Queensland wanted to make certain of our incompetence at our own language and ensure we were never able to learn another, but that they (participles) are stupid.

Any part of speech that can't decide whether it's related to a verb or an adjective should not have the right to live.

I don't care if it is temporal or causal, if it introduces a participial phrase, and if it indicates relative time from the proper verb of the sentence, or what the heck its aspect is. I HATE PARTICIPLES!!!

And the chance that I'm not typing this as the little men in white coats try to convince me to put the keyboard down and slip into a very comfortable straight jacket?