Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Don't you hate it when...

... you're punished because someone else has behaved badly?

This is a guest post from Harry.

You may know me as the Little Black Dog.

I'd just like to complain about being punished for something I wasn't entirely responsible for.

Okay, so I'm partially responsible for it, but it wasn't ALL my fault.

This morning Mum went for a walk without me. It doesn't matter that it was only about 150 metres, and that the neighbour she was visiting is afraid of dogs. She is not allowed to walk without me. I barked. I might have used some language that Mum doesn't approve of in order to express my level of frustration.

My barking set off the two tiny yappy dogs next door.

Then she came back and had to hang out the washing in the back yard. The tiny yappy dogs next door don't like Mum being in the back yard, particularly not if she talks to me.

This made the tiny yappy dogs continue barking.

Then she went inside to do some stuff, but the tiny yappy dogs continued barking. One in particular is very shrill in pitch and it's that one who was doing most of the barking.

Mum timed them and reckons they barked from when she first walked up the street at 8.45 until she left the house at about 9.15.

I think she was sick of the barking, and glad to be leaving the house because there was no end in sight.

As she backed the car out of the garage I got mad at her for leaving and barked.

She warned me about the collar, but I didn't stop.

So she anti-barking collared me.

I don't like the anti-barking collar.

And it's not fair because she probably wouldn't have done it if the tiny yappy dogs next door hadn't been barking for half an hour.

The chance that I'm not one cheesed off mutt?

... Approximately None! (as Mum would say)


Givinya De Elba said...

How MUCH did your Mum want to anti-bark-collar those two silly yapping dogs though? I sorta wish she had. That would have been funny, and so much more satisfying for you.

Emily Sue said...

LBD! You have a name! I don't know much about dogs... do they sulk the same as cats do? And do you withhold affection until your displeasure is acknowledged??

Sorry you were collared... but isn't it nice to know that the yappy dogs see you as a leader and want to emulate you?

Anonymous said...

Addendum by Harry.

The joke is on Mum, of course. Today she went to put on my collar for my barking as she left and checked whether it was charged.

It was not.

I was kinda hoping that she wouldn't discover this, but it might have been a bit of a clue yesterday when I didn't stop barking after she put it on.

Hippomanic Jen said...

No. Dogs don't sulk or withold affection. Or at least the LBD doesn't.

It's more like "I think you don't like me so I need to be MORE attentive to get you to like me"

They are not good role models for those living in situations of domestic violence.

Emily Sue said...

Wait... WAIT! She had to check whether the collar was CHARGED?? What, exactly, does an anti-bark collar do?? Is your Mum electrocuting you? Do we need to get you to a safe house?????

Speaking of which, I'm going straight to hell because this "They are not good role models for those living in situations of domestic violence." made me burst out laughing.

Crazy Sister said...

Those collars would come in terrier size, wouldn't they?

Does the council know how long those little dogs bark for?