Thursday, January 14, 2010

It's all Mum's fault, really...

You might recall that about 12 months ago I commented that I was having some vision difficulty and probably needed to go to an optometrist.

I also want new frames because I'm needing my glasses more and more often, and they really aren't fashionable anymore, and I need them in public now rather than just at my desk.

Well I decided I'd go on Tuesday of this week.

Vanity is an excellent motivator.

First appointment at a new optometrist they ask you about all the family history and what you know about your eyesight problems, then they start the actual examination.

I knew that I have three basic problems:
1. I need glasses for reading (can never remember which is long-sight and which short-sight)
2. I have astigmatism in my left eye (this is my Mother's fault, but she blames her Dad.)
3. I have a convergence problem

Lately I've been needing glasses more and more often for further and further distances. So it was time to go, and I was excited that I could get new frames, having had these since 1997 when I first got glasses. It's time. Well past time, actually, but moving on from my innate miserly tendencies...

So the young bloke finished his examination and then asked me if I'd ever been recommended eye exercises for my convergence problem?

The answer to that is 'yes' from some optometrists, but others say that you can waste your time if you like, but they don't help. So, my natural disinclination for any form of exercise has won the day and I haven't been doing any.

Possibly a mistake, because there's absolutely nothing that glasses can do to help a convergence problem.

And I have a spectacular, off-the-scale convergence problem for close work. This means that each eye contributes the image it sees, but can't reduce it to one, focussed image. Hence I can't see well unless I close one eye. Which might be a bit distracting for the congregation when I'm reading sermon notes.

It does help if things are in focus, though.

... So I need to wear my glasses for preaching and meetings and stuff (at least still my eye muscles decide to behave again due to enough time spent cross-eyed).

... But they are ugly.

... But the fact of the matter is that there is absolutely no change in my prescription.

... So there is no reason to get new frames.

And while they kindly offered to sell me new glasses anyway, my aforementioned innate miserliness will not allow me to buy new glasses for no reason.

... And my parents always told me to be a good steward of this world's resources, and that means taking care of things.

... So my existing frames are still in really good condition, and there's no discernable scratches on the lenses (then again, could I see them if there were?).

... So there is no reason to get new frames.

... And it's all my Mum's fault.

By the way, if I happen to see any of you who are my friends or relatives and you happened to, say, sit on my glasses, my level of unhappiness would be...

...Approximately None!!!

In fact, don't be surprised if I see you about to sit down and I throw my glasses across the room onto your chair.

The problem is that those of us with convergence problems see two images of things partially superimposed, so the chance that I'll hit the right chair?

... *sigh*


Emily Sue said...

You bought your glasses in 1997. If you buy a new pair that's two pairs in 13 years. Uh, I wouldn't exactly call that wasteful. Seriously. Buy a new pair!

Swift Jan said...

Ok so, your glasses are 13 years old... my goodness, I can barely last 2 years before I am dying for new frames! I guess I wear mine all day everyday, but still, I think that 13 years is a long enough amount of time to justify new frames... but thats just me...

I will happily sit on them for you :)

Givinya De Elba said...

I was going to offer to "fix em good" before you even suggested it!

You know what birthday money is for, don't you? And there would be a birthday coming up in a few months, no?

Wendy said...

I agree with all of the above. There is absolutely no reason why you shouldn't update your frames, especially if you have to wear them more in public.

Wendy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Crazy Sister said...

Of course, when you get new glasses, you donate your old ones to somebody overseas who couldn't afford glasses normally.

That poor person is waiting for your old glasses. Do the right thing here, and update yours so you can pass them on!

Rhubarb Whine said...

You do know, you could be very, very charitable and pass your glasses to a third world collection bin so that they go to someone who sees 2 of everything all the time....

and then get new ones?

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