Friday, September 4, 2009

O Lord, set a watch over my mouth...

Well, there is probably more than one problem. My brain is mostly here, but sometimes I am still doing dumb stuff. On Tuesday I signed my name on a very important, official business document and signed the wrong name.

Oh no, not my maiden name - I made up an entirely different surname by exchanging the final letter with a totally different letter. A letter that has never existed in my name in the lower case.

What's more I didn't find it until the next day, which was saved by the fact that my dodgy brain forgot to take it around to Dad's office to fax it off. I discovered the error before anyone else saw it. (Then blogged about it. For everyone to see. Hmmm. Maybe I have more problems than I thought)

The main problem I'm confronting is that my jaw hasn't yet let go. I can actually get my index finger between my teeth, but I can't open my mouth any more than that.

So while there are many things that I'd be game to eat, unless they are thinner than my index finger it's just not going to work for me.

I can have a sandwich - as long as I take it apart and eat all the components separately. I ate a sausage at the sausage sizzle last night - but had to cut it in half lengthways. I could eat a pie or hamburger - as long as I cut them up with a knife and fork. My meals are taking ages to eat because I've got to bash down each forkful to be thin enough to go through the 'letterbox'.

And what's worst is that I've had this much opening for about a week now and it's not changing much.

So yesterday I went shopping and decided that I deserved a little treat:-

But I forgot one very important thing:-

Close. Very, very close.

But possible. Just.
The chance that I didn't get just a fraction more room by sheer effort of will and a little discomfort?
... Approximately None!


Crazy Sister said...

I just gave Peanut a huge fright when I burst into laughter at your finger measuring the Tim Tam.

Glad you accomplished it!

Swift Jan said...

Oh no!!! I am sure it will come good soon!!!
Just as well you managed to eat the chocolate ok! Would have been devastating otherwise :P

Givinya De Elba said...

I think I've worked out how you stuffed up the signing of your name, by following the clues.

But instead of ruining yhour anonymity by puttin' my suggestion out there, I shall frame it as a cryptic crossword clue.

"Container of the wrong excrement(7)"

Givinya De Elba said...

Oh no, I'm wrong aren't I? It's the wrong number of letters.

You know, Tim Tams don't mind being dismembered before being devoured alive. It's what they LIVE for!

Femina said...

It's good for you to do exercises to slowly stretch your jaw. Eating the biscuit HELPED you. Truly. :D (Is it a Tim Tam? It looks like the one with the wafer inside... Gaiety?)

Hippomanic Jen said...

Yep, Gaiety - love 'em better'n Tim Tams, but they are thicker - which I hadn't taken into account.

Long dark hair, blue eyes said...

Hmmm signing the wrong name...maybe don't go making any big decisions just now.

I am impressed you fitted the tim tam into you mouth. If you had not been able to I would have suggested blending it with some milk.

JennyMac said...

SO funny...and love the title of this post too.