Approximately None

New Book Smell

2012-01-31T15:29:00.004+10:00

I had a parcel delivered this morning.

Actually, two parcels - but one was for my Beloved's business and wasn't at all exciting, so the first statement shall be permitted to stand.

I had a minor melt-down when Google-chatting to Emily Sue, because I like new books where nobody has scribbled in or otherwise defaced my prospective property. But I am a realist and students on a budget should be somewhat thrifty. So I spent some time getting over it.

Then I checked out three websites for each of the 10 text books I need for this semester, and worked out which was cheapest.

And I was surprised that, for the most part, the current edition new texts were not that much more expensive than the current edition secondhand texts. (If indeed there were any secondhand texts from the current edition) They were, of course, significantly more expensive than the previous edition secondhand texts.

I have no idea why this was so, but I got stuck into the new ones and still came in under my book budget for the semester, so much so that I'm tempted to buy an additional Jewish study Bible that is recommended (but not required) reading for Introduction to the Old Testament. Wouldn't it give a great alternative perspective?

And what is truly delightful to this obsessive bibliophile is that they smell like new books. No highlighting, no notes to distract me, and my new Fourth Edition Greek New Testament is still in it's plastic wrap with a gold seal stating "The Preferred Text for Scholars" kindly informing me of my growing status as a scholar of ancient languages.

And the chance that I'll miss the tiny amount I spent extra to get new books?

And I'm like, "what the?"...

2012-01-27T15:51:00.003+10:00

Went down to grab some groceries and go to the bank.

Not necessarily in that order, because I needed the money to be able to get the groceries (and don't ask why I don't simply get cash out at the supermarket, because I have the uncanny ability to pick the checkout that has insufficient cash to be able to oblige me and therefore have to go to the bank anyway).

And the day had got away from me a bit, but it was, in my mind, just after lunch.

And I came out from the shop (into the rain - about which I shall not complain at all - we need it) and loaded everything into the car, and took my trolley back, and then jumped into the car only to find that there was a traffic jam getting onto the road.

There was a traffic jam getting onto the road, because the intersection just up a bit was in a traffic jam.

And that intersection was in a traffic jam because traffic heading into town was at a standstill.

And I sat in my little white car shaking my head and telling myself that I live in a country town and we just don't get traffic jams and hoping that there hadn't been an accident.

And then I looked at the clock. 3.20pm. And I was just up from the local High School.

Of course, because I never go near town between 3 and 3.30pm (particularly on a rainy day), I can remain in my steadfast belief that we don't have traffic jams in country towns.

Oh for the sleepy, dozy school holidays to be with us once again! When I can go where I like when I like without chaotic school traffic.

And the chance that I'm the centre of the universe?

Unfortunate, really.

Nine cents

2012-01-24T10:44:00.002+10:00

Okay, so not earth shattering, but I really enjoyed getting an email from Amazon regarding half my text books for first session which showed the amount I paid in Aussie dollars was less than the amount in US dollars.

And the chance that it was a huge amount in my favour?

Not quite bright

2012-01-18T21:48:00.002+10:00

For the third time in a row when washing our bed sheets I have thought, "I should clean up the dog's 'nuggets' before hanging out the washing."

For the third time in a row when washing our bed sheets I have gone to bring in the washing and found the fitted sheet hanging by one peg with the other end dragging around on the ground.

The chance that I have listened to my better self?

And it would mean that I don't need to buy stamps this year, except that it doesn't...

2012-01-17T17:06:00.003+10:00

I've been working on cleaning up my study/office.

Not just cleaning up, but CLEANING UP.

Sorting through lots of pieces of paper that are no longer required and I don't need to look at again...

...and some that I possibly want to look at again from my current perspective, but realising that that is just the thought that lead me to keep the pieces of paper that I don't need to look at again, I've resolutely thrown these out too.

And in this process I've found lots of things that hadn't got into their homes. An envelope with $12 cash in it. And two separate stashes of postage stamps: Nine 50 cent fauna of the Rainforest stamps and twenty-six 45 cent Christmas stamps.

... And 20 sen from the Bank Negara Malaysia, which possibly doesn't add much to my stash, but nevertheless I found it.

So I wouldn't need to buy stamps this year, except that the cost of postage has gone up.

But still, I resent finding nearly thirty dollars worth of cash and stamps how much?

It's the only time I've ever known housework to pay. (Apart from the occasional coin in the bottom of the washing machine)

Maybe I can post Emily Sue's books back to her now.

2012 The year of the Spiritual Disciplines

2012-01-16T14:38:00.003+10:00

Okay, so I'm not exploring them all. But there will be a few.

Firstly, I've decided to take a semester off work so that I can study a full-time study load.

Guess what? Study is a Spiritual Discipline!

Because I'm taking time off work, the budget will be quite snug.

Guess what? Simplicity is a Spiritual Discipline!

I've been feeling a real call to prayer and meditation for this year, so I've made certain that my timetable includes sufficient time to make these areas of my spiritual life a priority.

Guess what? Prayer is a Spiritual Discipline!

It's making for a very interesting life. Grocery shopping now has something to do with God, because I have to shop within a tighter food allowance than previously.

Riding my bike places has something to do with God because I'm saving fuel money.

Avoiding junk food has something to do with God because there's only a small discretionary spending allowance for me and is it really worth it?

And ripping up Koorong catalogues without taking time to drool over them is about God, because my book budget for this year is restricted to textbooks (unless I choose to spend some of the disc. spend. allow.).

And now I just need to find a way to make travel overseas a Spiritual Discipline. Number of ways that have occurred to me?

Desperate Measures

2012-01-13T05:02:00.000+10:00

There are times in a preacher's life where there don't seem to be any hymns that go where you want to go.

And some of us preach in smaller churches where there is a limit on the repertoire of the congregation and/or musicians available.

And although it is possible to select some rousing hymns that everyone knows that have nothing whatsoever to do with the selected theme, it is really very nice to have at least one that deals with where you're going.

So, in desperation, I started penning my own lyrics with some assistance from the lovely and talented Givinya who ironed out a dodgy line for me and told me that it was okay to have an anacrusis if I needed it.

So we'll be singing this on Sunday (to the tune Cross of Jesus):

Follow me! Our Christ to Philip

in that distant Galilee.

Instantly he went with Jesus.

What an honour: Called was he.

Follow me! Our Saviour calls us

As he calls, so we obey.

Walking into love and learning,

faith in trusting his new day.

Come and See! So Philip phrased it

When Nathanael scoffed his doubts

Zeal for law, tradition, status -

Jesus’ wisdom found him out.

Come and See! So someone asked us

Child or parent, spouse or friend

Came to Jesus: True love, mercy,

Companionship that never ends.

Come and See! An invitation

From our lives to those we know.

Making certain we don’t veil the

King of Heav’n seen here below.

Of course, while Givinya is very good and very helpful in the improvement of verses, her strength is rhyming and rhythmic comedy. So she dash off a couple of alternative versions of the third verse, because I was having great trouble getting it to work.

An alternative version

Come and See! So Philip phrased it

when Nathanael scoffed his doubts

zeal for law, tradition, status

proved Nathanael was a lout.

The Yorkshire version

Come and See! So Philip phrased it

when Nathanael scoffed his doubts

zeal for law, tradition, status

Nathanael's questions came to nowt.

The Irish version (and my personal favourite)

Come and See! So Philip phrased it

when Nathanael scoffed his doubts

So Nat and Phil, they filled their tankards,

Made a toast, and downed their stout.

The IT version

Come and See! So Philip phrased it

when Nathanael scoffed his doubts

Nat picked up his bag and laptop;

Went to check the Saviour out.

And how many of these alternatives are likely to be sung in church this coming Sunday (except in my head)?

...precisely

Never use an iPad on your desk

2012-01-12T12:03:00.002+10:00

I was working on a major technological feat, trying to change settings on my iPad to get it to download my emails, which would have been much simpler had I remembered that I have an entirely different password for my email account than every other vaguely technological thing that I do.

As I was working through the process, I needed to delete some characters so that I could replace them with the correct ones.

For some reason it wasn't working.

But I did delete half a dozen emails from my computer.

The chance that I wasn't trying to use my computer keyboard to make changes on my iPad?

...Hmmm.

If Apple were really smart, they'd have a thingamy in the keyboard that could recognise which screen you are looking at, and adjust the input location accordingly.

Just for professional interest

2012-01-11T17:48:00.003+10:00

Every now and then I go to other churches or listen to podcasts just to see how other people go about delivering a sermon.

I have just listened to 45 mins (and finally lost ability to continue to listen) of one from a young and vibrant church down in the "big smoke". I thought I might learn a thing or two about being relevant and communicating to younger audiences in the modern world.

It seems that it is perfectly natural to introduce your main point at least 35 mins into your sermon.

It seems that it is perfectly okay to bring in the scripture you want to focus on after 45 mins.

I also need to cultivate a whiny voice that can be raised continually until I reach a crescendo every 10 mins or so, possibly to make certain my audience are still with me.

Oh, and "if you agree with me, say YES!" falls quite flat on the podcast when there is no microphone for the congregation. In fact, if you need to stir them up, it's probably not genuine response anyway.

I reckon in the 45 mins I listened to there was about 10 mins of material, the rest was just waffle. And there could have been quite a bit to come, given the fact he'd just got his Bible out.

Now, don't get me wrong. I've listened to sermons that were over the 30 min mark and I was sad that they finished ("where did the time GO?"), but this guy wasn't one of them. Unfortunately I've heard plenty more in the same style.

I realise, too, that there are people who have a 10 minute message that seem like an hour.

I guess I try to have a solid structure, solid research behind it, and make the presentation as interesting as I can. There's also much to be said for allowing the good ol' Holy Spirit to have a chance at moving you during both preparation and presentation. but I generally try to aim for about 6 hours preparation for a 15 minute talk, rather than the opposite.

Once I was presenting a professional seminar at a series of development courses and surprised one of the organisers by saying, "I generally try to stop talking when I've said everything that has to be said."

Chance that I'm going to email that pastor with some constructive criticism?

...no ... I'm way too passive aggressive for that!

The LBD is okay.

2012-01-09T10:28:00.002+10:00

I've calmed down now, thankfully. Walking Friday arvo the LBD and I walked into two loose husky-ish looking dogs, one large and the other huge, the largest of which decided to have a go at one comparatively tiny Border Collie.

Thankfully bravery is not the LBD's strength. He went all floppy and submissive and didn't get savaged too badly, although he was squealing the whole time as if he was being torn to shreds.

I had nothing to protect him with and knew that you just don't break up dog fights. You just don't. Yelling didn't seem to make any impact what-so-ever. Thankfully worried owner arrived to drag them off home just as giant dog let go and the LBD ran behind me for protection. It was good not to have to deal with round 2; or potential 2 on 1 action.

We were both a tad shaken to say the least. Having got him home and inspected as much of him as I could see for all the fur there doesn't seem to be any skin broken at all, so it seems that giant dog was just out for world domination, not actual damage.

If I had had any sort of weapon handy I would have proved whether I have a violent streak or not. Surprisingly I think I do.

And the chance we want a repeat of that performance?

My Vacuum Cleaner Sux

2011-12-25T21:09:00.003+10:00

Happy Christmas!

I don't know about you, but I've heard many women complain about receiving Christmas gifts that are useful, practical and/or housework related.

My Beloved gave me the gift of clear sinuses for Christmas, Bless his little cotton socks. And I couldn't have asked for anything better.

A new Dyson vacuum cleaner, wrapped in newsprint with a red shiny bow was under the Christmas tree this morning.

I've been borrowing Mum's because I was having some real trouble with my nose/throat, and it largely disappeared after a couple of months of vacuuming with a machine that actually removed dust from the bedroom carpet.

This was a small design fault in our last vacuum cleaner. The manufacturers may wish to look into it, as funnily enough, we purchased the machine with the expressed intention of removing the dust and dog fur from the floors. I feel better spending time vacuuming when I can see a difference where I've been working.

I hope you all have had a lovely day to celebrate Christmas in whatever form your tradition dictates.

And the chance that vacuuming occurred at our place on Christmas Day?

... OF COURSE NOT. (but I can't say I didn't read the manual and assemble it)

Sometimes being a Pastor isn't all it's cracked up to be...

2011-12-12T15:34:00.003+10:00

Or, at least, there are those who think I should be proof against cracking up.

I was at a service yesterday for the commissioning of a new pastor in a church not so very far away.

I had been invited to preach, which was an honour and a privilege, but does make one rather conspicuous when one sees an unfortunate typo during one of the hymns.

We were "Lifting high the cross" gustily and "praising his sacred name". I had not realised that among all the titles to which Jesus is entitled is included "the Sod of God".

Don't you hate how spelling checkers only highlight typos that are not real words in themselves?

How much success did I have in keeping a straight face?

And how much help was my Beloved at this point?

So I now have a current resume...

2011-12-09T16:48:00.003+10:00

Which is a good thing. And thanks to Emily Sue who has given me tips to make it beautiful as well as being to the point.

I've even applied for my first job, which is an even better thing.

I've had my first 24 hour spac-attack about not having set plans for 2012, which is not really a good thing at all, but I'm over it now. (Sort of. For this five minutes at any rate.)

And, as you would expect things have changed for our holiday. Mum and I got our information back for what we're doing on Crete, Dad saw it and decided that he really didn't need to get straight back to his business after all. We were going to have too much fun without him!

So now he's going to come with us to Crete, then he'll get an earlier plane, while we have a final wander around Heraklion, then head to Athens for our Paul Tour later in the day.

Now, if only I knew what's going to be happening with the beginning part of the year. But how much of an idea do I have?

Exciting Things...

2011-12-02T10:40:00.003+10:00

There are a few.

And I haven't been blogging, time has been the factor.

So, a few things that are happening around here:-

1a. Our church can't afford a part-time pastor for next year.

1b. And we as a church really want to look at getting a pastor's job description that really fits the direction that we think God wants us to head for the future.

1c. And I've been feeling that I really need more opportunity to study.

1d. So I don't have a job for next year.

Interesting Times, hey?

2. I need to find a job, so I've been working on my resume (thanks to Emily Sue who is good at that stuff), and looking for jobs to apply for. There are a couple of options coming up. It's hard to know which way to go, but I figure if I apply for everything possible, I might get something.

3. This leaves study in an odd position. I've enrolled in one subject per semester, but am hoping that with a part-time job I may be able to do 2 or even 3 subjects a semester (still distance ed.), depending on the number of hours required.

And the best and most exciting thing is:-

4. In June/July 2012 I will be doing my absolute dream overseas trip that I never really thought I would be able to do. My Beloved is not really interested, can't get time off work, and we can't afford it anyway, but I've convinced my Mum that it would be great, and Dad thought it sounded great too so they will be coming (Dad only for part of it before leaving Mum and I to get lost all by ourselves).

Oh, you want to know where to?

Well then, I'll humour you!

Starting with 5 days in Jerusalem and surrounds, going to some of the usual sites of interest to Christians and tourists; Temple Mount, Western Wall & tunnel, Jewish Quarter, Temple ruins, pools of Bethesda, Via Dolorosa and Holy Sepulchre, Qumran, Masada, Bethlehem, and the Herodium.

Then 14 days at an archeological dig at Bethsaida on the sea of Galilee. Digging in the mornings, recovering in the afternoons before pottery reading late pm and lectures in the evenings. The weekend is free, and I understand that the various lecturers on tour pick an interesting location to go to visit.

Then 5 nights in Southern Israel and Jordan, going to Petra, the Dead Sea, Negev desert, Mt Nebo.

Then Dad comes home and Mum and I board a plane to Athens. Or rather, we board a flight to Athens, then Dad goes home. I've always loved ancient Greek history, architecture, art etc, particularly Bronze Age. So whilst the tour we're doing is Pauline sites, there are a few days to spare between tours and so we get off the plane from Athens, and get straight onto a plane for Heraklion.

What? You don't know where that is? Crete. Minoan civilisation and beautiful artwork. I was initially depressed that the Aegean Cruise that we get to go on as part of the tour doesn't go to Crete (it used to), but we now get three days there between tours and that will be SO much better than a half-day wander about.

So we will see Knossos (Palace that was reputed to be home of the Minotaur and one of two places that I have ALWAYS wanted to go since I studied Bronze Age Greece - despite bad, bad, bad early archeology) Phaestos, Gortys, and spend time in the Heraklion Archaeological Museum which has some of the best examples of Minoan art and objects.

Then we go back to Athens to start a tour that is "In the footsteps of the Apostle Paul" And does Athens, Philippi, Thessalonika, Meteora, Veria, Corinth, Mykonos, Ephesus, Kusadasi, Patmos, Santorini (3 day cruise around the Aegean).

Then we have booked a day trip to Mycenae (yes, I have inconsistent Greek K/ Latin C use) so that I can see the Lion Gate, which is the other of the two places in Greece that I've always wanted to see.

We fly out in the afternoon of the next day, so that leaves us a morning to walk around Athens (rioting crowds permitting).

So how excited am I?

... approximately LOTS AND LOTS!!!!

θαυμάζω

2011-11-10T18:47:00.003+10:00

Sorry, can't help myself. The title is the NT Greek word that is pronounced "Thaumazo" and means, "I wonder at, marvel".

There are three bike-riding things that I am wondering at and are marvellous. In fact, I'm not certain which surprises me most:

1. I managed to ride my bike up the hill from home towards town. It was my nemesis during high school, and I wasn't going to even try this for a couple of weeks. But I managed to do it.

2. I remembered the combination on my bike lock. I've just passed 20 years since high school, and I can remember those particular three digits in order.

3. I have bones in my bottom. I didn't think they would come anywhere near contact with the bike seat, but they do. Wow.

And on a lighter note, a quiz: "Which Queen song is most appropriate for my new cycling phase?"

And the chance that I really want an answer to that?

Bright, Shiny, New Bike

2011-11-08T12:03:00.003+10:00

Well it WAS, back in 1988. When I got a new, light 10 speed bike to replace Mum's truly ancient one that I'd been riding.

It was shiny and blue and 10 speed and had a bag carrier on the back, and was exactly what I dreamed of.

I got it back from the bike shop today with two new tyres and tubes, new hand grips, a new back brake cable (sort of necessary, given the old one had snapped) and all greased and working well. Including a guarantee that the chain will not come off when I change between 5 & 6 gears as it used to when I was on my way to school.

It may not be as shiny. The chrome bits might have a tad of surface rust, and the seat might have a few tiny tears in the upholstery (and be much less comfortable than I remember), but hey, I can now proceed to get fit.

So I walked down to town, picked it up and rode it home.

And I did not die.

And the chance I expected to survive the trip home?

Indeed.

Free for the Summer

2011-10-25T17:06:00.002+10:00

Yes. I live. I survived the semester.

and I should pass, even, which is even better.

Now, what do I do in the evenings again?

Possibly a good call.

2011-08-29T21:53:00.004+10:00

I came up with a wonderful way to have a Sunday arvo relax yesterday.

A number of people had suggested that the movie "Red Dog" was worth seeing: Great scenery, touching story, and outback Australian humour.

I suggested it to my Mum for us (she, Dad, my Beloved and I) to go to the afternoon session after we had our weekly family lunch.

She went quiet.

For some reason, despite having heard it was a good movie and wanting to support the Australian film industry, she wasn't really keen.

...You see, there was a fair possibility that a movie called "Red Dog" might, just might possibly have a red cattle dog in it...

... and that a red cattle dog of similar size and shape tried to eat her last year.

So she elected not to come with us. She'll give it a go when it's on TV and she doesn't have to pay for it only to leave 10 minutes in.

I tell ya, the weirdest thing about that movie was being able to 'read' all the cultural and stylistic stuff that was, in essence my early childhood: terry towelling hats, short stubbie shorts, tight raglan-sleeved t-shirts, brightly coloured plastic strips hung from doorways to keep the flies out, brown and cream Land Cruisers and red dust. Yep. My childhood. Weird.

And I keep giggling about the way stories were told and how you had to read between the lines to know what was going on. Goodness knows what anyone would make of it who wasn't Australian (or even Australians who weren't around in that era). One of my particular favourite jokes was that they included "Melbourne" among "all the countries of the world". Definitely foreign. ;)

But when I saw a close-up of some spectacular canine teeth, I thought that the chance that Mum was wrong to miss the movie was...

The chance that I'm NOT a dag?

2011-08-26T09:51:00.002+10:00

Okay, you've always thought I was a bit of a dag? Well you are so right!

Got home from morning prayer this morning (my day off, which I have dedicated to Greek - hopefully getting my assignment translation completed), to find a parcel up against the back door.

I crossed my fingers that it was from Amazon...

...and it was...

...and it was heavy...

...and being a martyr I made myself put on a load of washing before I let myself open it...

My Danker "Greek-English Lexicon" (BDAG) and Wallace "Greek Grammar Beyond the Basics" have arrived!!!

They weren't supposed to get here until the 9th September!

I might have done a little jig around the house clutching my new books and chanting a little nonsense song that might have included the words, "mine, mine, my books, all mine" at regular intervals. But I'd never admit to it.

And no-one in my life here understands my excitement, and my Beloved (who would probably laugh at me anyway) has his mobile switched off.

I'm just hoping that spending the equivalent of 3 months gym membership results in me using these books more frequently and for longer than gym membership inspires me to exercise!

P.S. They have a beautiful new book smell.

Addendum:

After writing the above, the joke got even better. I became vaguely aware of dog-like noises on the front verandah.

There shouldn't BE dog-like noises on the front verandah, because the LBD is restricted to the back yard, the back verandah, and now the garage.

I got up to see what was going on, and sure enough, the LBD was waiting for me to let him back in.

Obviously in my delight at finding a parcel against the back door, I had gone back inside, closed the garage door, and entirely forgotten to check that the LBD hadn't followed me outside.

Ooops.

One Week.

2011-08-22T12:34:00.002+10:00

There are actually two questions. The first can't be answered by the title of the post, but it is an important question, nonetheless.

"How long does it take to train a 10 year old dog to use a dog door?"

The answer is two 10 minute sessions of shoving him through head first, then encouraging him to do it for himself.

The second question arose out of our sleety horrible weather recently, because it's nice for the Little Black Dog to be able to get into the garage while we're out.

It is "How long will it take the dog to realise that he can follow the car out if he comes in through his door before the garage door goes down?"

Chance that I wasn't late for my meeting?

An exercise in futility; signage rethink required; and you can't teach old dogs...

2011-08-13T17:04:00.005+10:00

One:

I finally got around to folding and putting away some clothes this morning.

The basket was empty until 4pm when I got in two loads of washing.

Two:

I drove out to our water supply dam at lunch time because I was going to a child's birthday party in one of the parks (I hadn't asked which one, so had to check them all). At one section of the recreation reserve as I carefully navigated the honeycomb of potholes that is the dirt access road I was amused to see a sign announcing that there was a speed bump ahead.

Thanks for the warning, guys, but not really necessary.

Three:

This afternoon my Beloved put a dog door in the sliding security door of our garage.

The LBD will use it...

...if we push it open it for him.

It is just possible...

2011-08-08T20:45:00.002+10:00

...that the preceding rant is caused by over-tiredness after a weekend struggling with a virus or bug and not doing enough Greek.

Or, rather, what is the chance that it is not?

I now know why we never covered participles in High School

2011-08-08T20:33:00.003+10:00

The reason is not (as I have previously suspected) that Education Queensland wanted to make certain of our incompetence at our own language and ensure we were never able to learn another, but that they (participles) are stupid.

Any part of speech that can't decide whether it's related to a verb or an adjective should not have the right to live.

I don't care if it is temporal or causal, if it introduces a participial phrase, and if it indicates relative time from the proper verb of the sentence, or what the heck its aspect is. I HATE PARTICIPLES!!!

And the chance that I'm not typing this as the little men in white coats try to convince me to put the keyboard down and slip into a very comfortable straight jacket?

The difference of fifteen.

2011-08-02T16:42:00.003+10:00

This year I have been teaching a grade 2 Religious Instruction class.

Last year I took my first go at RI and had a grade 2 class. I decided to stick with grade 2 because I'd made so many mistakes that I MUST be able to do a better job this year.

Last year my RI class finished at about 23 students (although it started at about 20 - there was some accumulation during the year).

This year the school changed from an opt-out system (you have to write a letter saying that you don't want your child taught RI), to an opt-in system (where you have to write a letter saying that you do want your child taught RI). This meant a bit of a drop in numbers. You'd think my class would have been smaller.

But no, because they needed somewhere to put all the students who weren't doing RI, they took the smallest two classes, joined them together and gave them to me.

I started the year with 29 students.

I am not, and never have been a teacher.

It was hard.

Then I acquired an extra couple of students.

I recorded my plea in church, and found a willing and able helper to assist with crowd control.

Then we acquired a couple of extra students.

I started planning a 20 minute lesson, knowing that the first 10 minutes of the half-hour lesson would be taken up with getting chairs from next door for the extras. I also had to leave out anything exciting because there simply wasn't enough room in the classroom for movement of any kind.

I was struggling. Seriously struggling. And while I've always found taking RI hard, I wasn't able to make the individual connection with students that makes it rewarding.

One of the other teachers offered me her class for second semester. Then we found that we now had 35 students, so I took her up on it.

Today I had 20 grade three students (four from my class last year).

The classroom is big enough.

There is no-one coming from next door so that I have to find chairs.

They are a whole heap more capable in reading and puzzles and understanding instructions, and we can do fun games again.

I can't believe the difference made by fifteen.

P.S. The classroom teacher of my original class complained, they've now taken five students out of my old class to go to the other grade 2 class, and two students have changed schools. And the chance that would have happened if I hadn't changed classes? Yep.

Possibly not a usual response

2011-07-22T13:17:00.003+10:00

It is wonderful to have access to the internet!

Last Friday, in an effort to chase down why my computer has been getting 'stuck' trying to access sites (particularly secure sites like the Uni - grrrr), I contacted the Apple technical support (91 days after purchase - I bet you can't guess when the free support ran out?!?) - went through everything possible with them until they decided it couldn't be the computer - could I check these few things out with my ISP?

Then much time with my ISP, wherein she couldn't work out what was happening, decided to do a factory reset of the modem, and killed it. After the shops were shut.

It seems that it has been dying by inches, flicking in and out of operational status without the lights indicating it at all. Definitely a case of "the lights are on, but nobody's home." This explains why the fault has been intermittent, and also why things that are bigger to load are more likely to fail. It also explains why my computer had been telling me on odd occasions that I wasn't connected to the internet, then reneging and saying that everything was fine, when I hadn't done a thing.

Saturday morning led me to the main street where I bought a new modem, which didn't work. The didn't work part didn't become obvious until after midday, when the shops are shut. (Yes, you big city dwellers, many shops in regional places shut at noon on a Saturday, and don't reopen until Monday morning. I know, it's a hard world, but we survive.)

So Monday morning, took the modem back, got a refund and the sad news that they don't stock ADSL1 modems anymore, so I couldn't get one.

So off to my favourite computer shop, where they told me that ADSL2+ modems SHOULD work for ADSL1 lines, so I bought another modem and headed home to consult the technical support line for my ISP to get it working.

Monday afternoon and evening I had glorious, effortless, and super-speedy access to the web. Ahhhh! Lovely!

Tuesday morning I turned the computer on, only to find that the new modem was giving me a terrible red light that indicated that I WAS NOT CONNECTED TO THE INTERNET!!!!! ARRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! NOT AGAAAAAIN!?!

After turning everything off, checking all the connections, then restarting it only to find that the red light was still on, I was at the end of patience with anything electrical or technological, and about to join the Amish.

With heart sinking, I rang the number for my ISP, to get a recorded message that, "some customers in Queensland may be experiencing lack of connection at this time, we are working to...."

The chance that my relief was out of proportion with the situation?

A Tad Excessive?

2011-07-13T21:49:00.002+10:00

So when you get your new credit card, do you take the old one and

1. Cut it up, making certain to

a. cut the signature into at least three pieces, and

b. cutting the numbers in half across before cutting them into pieces; then

2. Carefully divide the resulting bits into two piles that are each missing key pieces, then

3. Throw out half the pieces in one week's rubbish; and

4. Throw out the other half two weeks later when there is no chance some weirdo can ever put them back together.

The chance that's not a tad excessive?

10 years

2011-07-07T09:34:00.000+10:00

Today we are ten.

And so my Beloved has taken two days off work, and we are going to an idyllic cabin beside a creek in the lovely country just to the south of us, where we shall have a real fire, and nothing we need to go and do...

... except for keeping each other from freezing, because it's supposed to get really, really cold on the weekend, and we will be in the surrounding countryside to Stanthorpe, the place in Queensland where it is most likely to snow.

And how much of a problem do I have with keeping each other warm on what is, after all, our wedding anniversary?

Precisely.

Something... Anything

2011-07-05T16:41:00.002+10:00

In the writing doldrums. To blog you need two concurrent things:

1. Something to write about

2. Time to write.

These have not been concurrent for me for some time, hence the radio silence.

The main culprit is the end of semester.

Then there was the break between sessions when I sit in front of the TV, loving the HD recorder that enables me to record stuff I'd otherwise have missed and watch it at night when I'm ready.

And so now I'm about to start the new session - New Testament Greek 2, having done pretty well on New Testament Greek 1. I'm looking forward to it because I'll be finishing the textbook and it doesn't look so full-on and hopefully I'll be better equipped to read the NT after I've done all the rest of the tenses and some participles and things.

And how useful will this be?

And sometimes you do end up studying tired...

2011-05-25T21:03:00.003+10:00

I am laughing at myself. (again)

I've just been going over my latest chapters of the textbook that deal with the future tense to get the information firmly into my head before attacking the workbook. My head is full of contractions and ablauts; tense formative sigmas or epsilon sigmas; words that have two different roots but act as one; and all the other information that is not entirely settled into its logical place in my brain.

So I start to do the first exercise, carefully working out the person, number, tense, voice, mood (hard one, that, as we have only done indicative as yet!), and the lexical form. All going well, so far.

Then the actual whole point of the exercise - the inflected meaning. And I find myself staring at it blindly, trying to comprehend what to put in this box... So how do you render future in English?

"I will do" better next time, but I just thought I'd share.

The chance that studying joins driving as one of those things I don't do if I'm tired?

Oops.

2011-05-20T20:39:00.003+10:00

It was my day off today. So I went to visit a Theological Library in Brisbane to find some resources for my exegetical assignment. Of course. That's what everybody does with their day off!

I took Mum with me and dropped her off at Indooroopilly on the way through. It was almost a case of slow down and push her out, because we didn't get a red light to let her out!

Having got all the stuff I'd gone down for, I headed back to meet Mum for lunch and Pearl Tea in the Food Court. I laughed at myself when I found a park "where I always park" when I haven't lived in Brisbane for 12 years.

Mum had found some things that she wanted to show me. I collect tiny horses, and generally Mum and Dad keep an eye out for ones with character when they are overseas.

These two just HAD to come home with me...
So meet Jade and Rosalie.

The chance you can pick which is which?

Saint Mumsy

2011-05-18T21:02:00.002+10:00

Well, I'm not certain she's got to two miracles yet, but I'm still nominating her.

My Mum has offered me an hour or so a week on a Wednesday afternoon to help with housework...

For free...

This has a number of good outcomes.

1. I was "paying" myself to be my own cleaner for 2-3 hours on a Wednesday afternoon. It wasn't working because there is always something more urgent than housework. Now that Mum is coming, I am disciplined... or at least, I have been for the two weeks that she's been here!

2. There are the extra things I never get around to - like cleaning windows. I love being able to see through them, but I don't often have time. Today, while I wrestled with a really grungy shower, the windows at the front door and in my office magically became shiny!

3. She comes up with good ideas, then helps make them happen. We've had mice. They got into the linen cupboard. There was evidence... over sheets and blankets and I find the thought of pulling out "clean" sheets and hearing the ting of tiny pellets hitting the floor disgusting. So ALL the linen needed washing. Mum came up with the brilliant plan of dumping everything into the bathtub, cleaning all the shelves, then took one overloaded washing basket and two huge stripy bags home to wash for me. I've been working on the rest whenever I have a part of a morning at home.

The chance that I want to swap Mums with you?

So I think the exam went okay...

2011-04-30T21:38:00.002+10:00

...Just so you know.

The lecturer picked the easy paradigms... after I'd spent considerable time getting the difficult ones down pat.

And that impresses me how much?

And so I've just done and marked my trial exam...

2011-04-28T14:26:00.004+10:00

And got an answer wrong.

And I could live with that.

But there were four other questions I made silly errors. Identifying nouns as singular and then translating them with the English plural form (and vice versa); leaving out the odd article when it clearly has one in the Greek (and one that is necessary also in the English - which is not always the case); and in one spectacular example, leaving out the second part of the question entirely.

Then, of course my maths is atrocious and as I marked the paper I came back with 68%, before realising that the first 4 questions were 10 marks each, not 5. I am much happier now.

I will pass.

But the chance that I'll not be irritated by the silly errors I accumulate along the way?

(The worst thing is that you can't really DO much about silly errors. I finished the paper by working solidly with only 4 minutes to spare, so I don't have time to go back over everything. I'm just feeling sorry for some of the other students who are struggling. I had 4 minutes to spare. I'm hoping that everyone will manage to finish the paper.)

A Little Known Fact About Me

2011-04-26T10:20:00.002+10:00

No. It's not a meme. I came up with this idea all on my own.

You see, I have a desk allergy.

Last Thursday with the advent of my new computer I decided that I should clean my office. Good call. I've been sneezing heaps and a little dust reduction is a really good idea.

But I had forgotten that when I used to work in local government, finally getting my desk clean was inevitably the trigger for getting a really bad cold. As if under all the paper and dust there was a perfect breeding ground for nasty bugs that would rise up and get me as soon as they were released from the mess.

So last night as I was enduring a huge alllergy attack I remembered that a clean desk is not always a good thing for me.

However, what's the chance that it will be a problem again for a very long time?

So I would never have made it as a Wireless Operator

2011-04-25T15:05:00.003+10:00

A very pertinent post for ANZAC day, I thought.

I'm dutifully studying my Greek.

I have an exam on Friday (not due til next week, but I don't trust Aussie Post to get it there in a short week) and also a tiny quiz to also submit the same day as it can be done online.

As I go through my exercises for this week, I begin to realise that I would have failed the course to become a Wireless Operator for the RAAF during the second world war.

What the?

Okay, some explanation for those who don't immediately follow where I'm going with this.

My Mum's Dad was, you probably have guessed (unless you're a family lurker and already know), a Wireless Operator during the second world war. He flew in the largely forgotten Halifax bombers from a tiny place in England for a couple of years.

He was lucky enough to get accepted as Aircrew, and because he wanted to be a navigator, the Airforce decided to send him to train as a Wireless Operator. (Ironically, on demobilisation they did aptitude testing to see what jobs he'd be good at back in the real world, and his scores were so good in one area that they supposed he must have been a navigator. No - that is something that he was interested in and had natural aptitude for - as if he'd get THAT job!!?!)

Anyway, to get back to the story, he had to learn Morse Code. In fact although there would be days when he would now struggle to remember my name, I bet you he could take a message in Morse Code just on reflex.

As he tells it, the trick in the examinations was to simply transcribe the letters as they came through. If you used your brain to make sense of it as it was coming, you'd suddenly find you weren't right and end up with the sort of mess that predictive text creates on mobile phones today, then you'd be lost and unable to catch up with the message. Then you failed the course and had to become an Air Gunner, taking a short sojourn in the kitchens because they didn't want everyone deliberately failing just to get through to the action more quickly and with less effort.

So, here I'm trying to do Greek to English translation exercises and I've just realised that where I am going wrong is when I take the first meaning I remember for a series of words and bung them together and then read the answer to see what it OUGHT to be and realise that my translation is not only seriously dodgy, but that if I took a little more time and didn't start presuming where the sentence is going before I am finished, I would probably do a whole heap better at it. And maybe it would approach sense in English.

And the chance that this post is not simple study avoidance?

Love.

2011-04-23T17:20:00.003+10:00

This post could be entitled "I need to stop thinking like a Microsoft User".

I was getting sick of my old laptop. It was getting slower and ssllloooooowweeerrr. It was not entirely stable. At 7 years old, I knew that it wasn't impossible that I would need a new computer in the near forseeable and had worked out my game plan for which way I wanted to go.

Sick of Windows and remembering back to my student days when I had a robust and eminently friendly Apple Mac, I decided that it would be the way to go. A bit more expensive, but what you pay in hardware costs you save in software. Mr Swan being particularly generous with his tax refund when I got around to lodging it this year brought replacing a computer into the possible immediately category, which was very nice indeed (and meant that I could get the next one up from the one I initially looked at).

It arrived Thursday morning, just in time for me to get everything operational over the Easter break.

I am constantly amazed at how easy it is to do things.

For one thing, the CD/DVD drive works. Novel concept, I know, but if you put a disk in, the computer will read it. I haven't yet tried to write to a CD, but I'm fairly confident there's a way to make that possible.

I don't need to wrestle with Office programmes anymore. Don't need publisher, because the word-processing and spreadsheet programmes allow you to format very intuitively and not have to wrestle with making the wretched thing do what you want. Unfortunately I keep looking for a hard way to do things (the Windows Way), only to find that it's much easier than that.

JOY!

The only problem is that going from a 15inch laptop screen to the 21.5inch desktop screen is pretty mind-blowing. I almost need to sit half-way across the room. I've gone from having to scroll across webpages to being able to see two at once, side-by-side.

And the keyboard is ridiculously tiny. Based on a laptop keyboard, it is as ridiculously small compared to my old split keyboard and the screen is ridiculously large in comparison with previous.

And the chance that I'll ever find my new wireless keyboard and mouse if my desk gets messy again?

100 yard dash

2011-04-14T21:46:00.002+10:00

Well, it was more like 6 yards.

Or yard frontages.

Which are about 20 metres wide each.

So it was probably about 140 metre dash.

The Little Black Dog hasn't had regular walks for a while.

He's obviously missing them.

It turns out that I can actually run for about 140 metres without killing myself.

What sort of achievement is that?

We are going to be very rich...

2011-03-11T09:39:00.003+10:00

Yesterday I was working at my desk when the LBD started barking without cause.

It continued.

I went to the back of the house to yell at him, and, having done so, saw him sitting panting at the bottom of the back steps with a questioning look on his face... as the barking continued.

This means either:
a) it was another dog with a really similar bark; or
b) the LBD is working on a ventriloquism act for the flood appeal concert at the church next week.

The chance that we'll make a fortune from it?

Don't learn to touch-type if you're ever going to allow your right index finger to get caught in a falling double-hung window.

2011-02-24T15:59:00.004+10:00

That's about it, really.

(It has stopped bleeding now, which is a bonus. It's amazing how hard it is to get blood out of denim 3/4 pants without it, either.)

Typing has become painfully slow (as my brain tries to work out which finger to substitute) or is just painful.

But how many words need a 'y', 'u', 'h', 'j', or 'n' anyway?

... *earl* ever* o*e *o* ca* t*i*k of. (Wait! I can write 'of'!!!)

... and then I turned the page...

2011-02-20T15:50:00.002+10:00

I was emailing with Emily Sue this week and expressing my relief that I've obviously done enough work on English case to be able to get some kind of handle on Greek case endings.

Last time I studied I was only ever able to get a grip on the genitive case as possession was the only thing that made sense to me out of all the rest.

She indicated that she didn't entirely get genitive when she studied it.

I didn't understand how that was so.

Then I turned the page in my text-book and it starts to give helps with translation and exegesis from the genitive case. It's throwing around terms like descriptive, separation, apposition, and plenary.

And the chance that the wheels haven't fallen off my ability to understand what the heck is going on here?

Greek Geek

2011-02-16T17:51:00.003+10:00

So last week I would have went, saw, and conquered, but as that is more commonly rendered in Latin, it wouldn't really be appropriate to my trip.

I went on a residential school for New Testament Greek in our nation's capital.

Three days of intense language learning, sandwiched between travel. It was really good (very intense, very full, very mind-filling and not always easy - but good). The preparation work I'd done was sufficient to keep me in the same ball park as the lecturer, which enabled me to get much more out of it than if I'd been struggling with how to sound out Greek letters and a total incapability to understand grammatical case (thanks, Education Queensland).

I was pretty bushed by the time I got home at 8.30 Saturday evening, then had to preach Sunday morning, then go to a Seminar in a neighbouring town, followed by a meeting with my supervisor and a hospital visit, rushed Officeworks trip and home in time for music group.

Then madly preparing for my RI class Tuesday lunchtime.

Then the taking of the class (I have 28 grade 2s - that is WAY too many for a non-teacher to keep under control all at once), followed by child protection seminar.

Thankfully today had nothing down in my diary until Ministry Team meeting late this afternoon. I slept reasonably well secure in the knowledge that I didn't really have to get up and prepare for anything. I could get some essential housework done, get out tax stuff together and make a few phonecalls to organise some things.

The chance I appreciated the 8.05am phone call from the church wondering whether I was coming for the Pastoral Carers meeting? (which I chair - oops)

Brace for impact!

2011-02-02T20:32:00.002+10:00

I used to live in a place called Cloncurry.

It's a very long way inland.

It is tonight in the cyclone watch area, despite the fact that it must be 8-10 hours drive west of Townsville. (I can't remember after nearly 25 years)

Julia Creek just down the road is in the cyclone warning area and it is expected that Yasi will still be a category 3 cyclone when it gets there.

It doesn't seem possible.

What's even more of a problem is that the old Building Code used to specify that you only needed to build your house to cyclone standard if you lived within 50km of the coast.

Julia Creek is a little further from the coast than that.

The chance that I'm not thinking of and praying for all those in the path of Yasi?

Pardon me, my mistake...

2011-02-02T11:55:00.003+10:00

You see, I thought it was amusing.

Inspired by the sight of our newly laid-aside television tucked into a space in a spare bedroom while the newly dead microwave sits on top of the bar freezer in the kitchen, I began to reflect on what would happen if all the appliances we had ever owned still lived with us, despite their not-entirely-working-properly status.

I went on to actually write it after I noticed that we do still have a computer monitor and my Beloved's Dad's very-nearly-dead television floating around in the garage. Both of which we have moved twice and paid for shed storage for (among lots of other stuff) while we built our house, and have somehow missed elimination during junk-tossing sessions.

But it's reassuring to know that the spirit of YouTube commenters exist in the most balanced and reasonable of my internet visitors.

But at least here there has been how much profanity or name-calling?

The Mathematical Conundrum of Fatima and Bruce

2011-02-01T17:04:00.005+10:00

Once upon a time there were a young couple who were married.

Let's call them "Fatima" and "Bruce".

Let's stipulate that in the year 2011 they would celebrate their tenth wedding anniversary.

Let's also make the disclaimer that any resemblance to persons living or dead is entirely accidental. Even if there were elements of truth, they haven't been allowed to get in the way of a good story.

When they married, they joined all their wordly goods. (Neither of them had much in the way of expensive wordly goods, but they joined them just the same.)

This meant that they had:-
Washing machines: 2 (one newish automatic and an old twin-tub)
Microwaves: 2 (both in use)
Televisions: 2
VCRs: 2 (One that showed snowy/stripes when you viewed videos, but would record ok; one that you couldn't record on, but you could view clear images on if you could be bothered to get up to press the buttons on the machine because the remote had gone AWOL)
Fridges/Freezers: 1 fridge/freezer. 1 fridge. 1 bar freezer.
Computers: 2 (both reasonably old and put together out of old bits by their brothers)
Stereos: 2 (1 turn-table and cassette; 1 CD and cassette)

Because they lived out of town, they swapped the newish automatic washing machine for a nearly new twin tub because the older one was not pumping out properly. So now they had:-
Washing machines: 2 (one newish twin tub and a dead twin-tub)
Microwaves: 2 (both in use)
Televisions: 2
VCRs: 2 (both dodgy, but usable within constraints)
Fridges/Freezers: 1 fridge/freezer. 1 bar freezer. 1 now dead fridge.
Computers: 2 (now combined to make 1 better one and 1 dead one)
Stereos: 2 (1 turn-table and cassette; 1 CD and cassette)

Then, sadly, Bruce's Dad died in 2003. There was some stuff that was added to the household. So now they had:-
Washing machines: 2 (one newish twin-tub and a dead twin-tub)
Microwaves: 2 (both in use)
Televisions: 4 (including one that had a yellowish picture and one B&W)
VCRs: 2 (Possibly 3 for all Fatima knows. 2 dodgy, but usable within constraints; and possibly a nearly dead one hiding in the garage)
Fridges/Freezers: 1 fridge/freezer. 1 bar freezer. 1 dead fridge.
Computers: 2 (now combined to make 1 better one and 1 dead one)
Stereos: 3 (2 turn-table and cassette; 1 CD and cassette)

Then in 2005 Fatima decided that it would be useful to be able to veiw DVDs. This might also mean that they could have one reliable VCR machine if they got a DVD/VCR. She also started working from home and needed an up-to-date computer. So now they had:-
Washing machines: 2 (one newish twin-tub and a dead twin-tub)
Microwaves: 2 (both in use)
Televisions: 4 (2 usable, 2 dead)
DVD or VCRs: 3 (One that worked; 2 (possibly 3) that were dead)
Fridges/Freezers: 1 fridge/freezer. 1 bar freezer. 1 dead fridge.
Computers: 3 (1 good one. 2 dead ones)
Stereos: 3 (2 turn-table and cassette; 1 CD and cassette)

Then they were living in town again and Fatima's grandmother kindly passed on her old automatic washing machine. So now they had:-
Washing machines: 3 (1 older automatic; 1 newish twin-tub and a dead twin-tub)
Microwaves: 2 (both in use)
Televisions: 3 (including one that had a yellowish picture and one B&W)
DVD or VCRs: 3 (One that worked; 2 (possibly 3) that were dead)
Fridges/Freezers: 1 fridge/freezer. 1 bar freezer. 1 dead fridge.
Computers: 3 (1 good one. 2 dead ones)
Stereos: 3 (2 turn-table and cassette; 1 CD and cassette)

Then the washing machine started making odd noises. Bruce fixed it, but it wasn't really healthy. But that's ok, because Fatima's other grandmother moved into a nursing home and gave them her old-ish automatic. So now they had:-
Washing machines: 4 (1 older automatic; 1 working twin-tub and 2 dead)
Microwaves: 2 (both in use)
Televisions: 3 (including one that had a yellowish picture and one B&W)
DVD or VCRs: 3 (One that worked; 2 (possibly 3) that were dead)
Fridges/Freezers: 1 fridge/freezer. 1 bar freezer. 1 dead fridge.
Computers: 3 (1 good one. 2 dead ones)
Stereos: 3 (2 turn-table and cassette; 1 CD and cassette)

Then this year they decided that since analog TV is going out later in the year, it would be good to have a digital television and recorder and to take advantage of the post-Christmas sales. So then they had:-
Washing machines: 4 (1 older automatic; 1 working twin-tub and 2 dead)
Microwaves: 2 (both in use)
Televisions: 5 (1 digital, 2 dodgy analog, and 2 dead analog)
DVD or VCRs: 3 (One that worked; 2 (possibly 3) that were dead)
Fridges/Freezers: 1 fridge/freezer. 1 bar freezer. 1 dead fridge.
Computers: 3 (1 good one. 2 dead ones)
Stereos: 3 (2 turn-table and cassette; 1 CD and cassette)

Then the bigger and better of the 2 microwaves died. This means that they now have:-
Washing machines: 4 (1 older automatic; 1 working twin-tub and 2 dead)
Microwaves: 3 (2 in use, 1 dead)
Televisions: 5 (1 digital, 2 dodgy analog, and 2 dead analog)
DVD or VCRs: 3 (One that worked; 2 (possibly 3) that were dead)
Fridges/Freezers: 1 fridge/freezer. 1 bar freezer. 1 dead fridge.
Computers: 3 (1 good one. 2 dead ones)
Stereos: 3 (2 turn-table and cassette; 1 CD and cassette)

Their mathematical conundrum is this:-

If the garage has 35 square metres left over for storage of dead appliances after the car is parked in it, how many years can Fatima and Bruce remain married?

How close does this story come to truth?
...Hmmmm.

That would be wrong, right?

2011-01-24T15:48:00.003+10:00

I was waiting for Givinya to have lunch together, given that I was in town for the day.

There were some 1/2 price calendars.

One had Jack Russell terrier puppies on it.

I had been wondering why people buy Jack Russell dogs. I now know. It's a pity the calendar doesn't come with a sound track to turn you off.

And it wouldn't have been healthy to buy the calendar for violent destruction purposes when the ones next door have been barking for 2 1/2 hours straight, right?

Some pics

2011-01-11T22:49:00.005+10:00

Please remember when looking at these images that they are the impressive parts of the flood. I have not taken photos of all the dry land and the thousands of houses that are high and dry.

That's not to dismiss the fact that people have had water into homes and businesses, just that it's only a small part of the developed area of town that is inundated.

By the way, we are high and dry still.

And if we weren't Queensland would REALLY be in trouble...

... and so would western New South Wales...

...and South Australia, for that matter.

This is our dam on Sunday. All seven gates were open and letting water out. Although this water doesn't flow through our town, it could cause the floodwater to back up. Later that night they closed back down to two gates. The second image shows the raging floodwaters below the dam. Thankfully there are some conveniently placed people to give you an idea of scale.

This is a veiw from a hill to the west of town, looking to the north-east across farmland, the racecourse and sports fields:

This is the Wallace Street Bridge (yes, there is usually a bridge there, but it does go under pretty early):

Surf's up on the turf! You can see the racecourse fences here (only thanks to my handy zoom):

This is the last bridge to go under. No-one is going back to the residential area on the other side of the river tonight:

Our favourite cafe with the best cheesecake in Australia... and a television?

The highway bridge with people who live on the other side of the river doing exactly what we were all doing on this side of the river:

The high school agriculture block. It often goes under, but not usually like this:

My high school oval. It's another one that goes under regularly, but not like this:

Looking south up the highway:

Looking north up the highway:

Across the school oval at sunset. Don't usually get sunsets over water in town here.

We did a trip to town between 9.30-9.50 tonight. It seems that the peak has passed now and the water is going down (unless there's more coming because it was still raining on the hills today).

And how much more rain do we need right now?

We're Okay

2011-01-11T13:40:00.005+10:00

Just so you know.

For those not familiar with Queensland geography, we aren't in the same catchment as Toowoomba, so are not one of the "surrounding towns" for the purposes of a 2.5 metre wall of water.

We are, however, having our own little flood right here as a result of heaps of rain falling on the nearby hills. The highways are all cut off, the main bridge is under and they're expecting about another 3 metres of water in the next day or so.

The dam was at 104% Sunday, and they have to release water. It's downstream of town, but the water will be competing with the Condamine for room where they join up, and that will back up water into town.

The old dam to the south is full and flowing madly. We can see that creek from our back windows, and it does go through town. I had never seen it over the bridge to the industrial estate before December, but now the dam is full there isn't any detention capacity. So it flows, ready or not.

Our favourite cafe has waterfront views, but another three metres will not be kind to them. They pulled everything left after the last flood out Sunday afternoon.

So the scuttlebut is that we're expecting a re-run of our 1976 floods. They put out a call for blokes to move the oldies in the Council-owned pensioner units. There are sandbags available to those who need them. People from out of town are stuck at home and can't get in to work.

My Beloved came home at 1pm yesterday, because all the roads to the industrial estate were going to flood. He couldn't get there this morning, either, so he's hanging around like a bad smell.

There was a funeral in our church this morning, and there are people stuck here. A strange fact you may never have thought about is that you can't actually bury someone in this weather. They can't dig holes.

There are some shops closed and it's almost like a festival atmosphere in some areas. Most of town will be high and dry, so there are only some homes and businesses who will lose property. Others (like my Beloved) will lose work days and therefore won't be making money.

The very sad thing is that this water will be heading downstream to Condamine, Dalby, St George and all those places that have been impacted by the last lot of floodwater. And they are flat, so don't have anywhere to go.

The upshot is that we're okay and I might get organised for some photos a little later on. Just wanted to let you know that we are high and dry and if we weren't most of town would be under. But really, the chance I'll get around to two posts in one day?

Just so you know, I still love rain.

2010-12-27T18:21:00.004+10:00

Today is the day when as many of Mum's brothers and sisters and spouses and my cousins get together. Because we live in the same town as my grandparents and grandad has trouble travelling these days, the party is normally here in town.

So we were all systems go this end.

And it rained.

And the first lot coming from Brisbane couldn't get through because the highway was cut about 20mins from here.

Then the lot from Toowoomba couldn't get through.

Then the second lot from Brisbane who were bringing my uncle, who had flown down from Townsville as a surprise, couldn't get through.

Then the lot from Toowoomba rang to say the road was cut on the way back to Toowoomba, and they'd had to get accommodation in the little town half-way home.

Then we got a photo emailed of both lots from Brisbane because they'd had a party at a stop half-way back to Brisbane.

So Mum, Dad, my Beloved and I jumped in the car and did the flood tour of the town we live in. Some bridges that I've never seen under are under, and it's very likely the main bridge into town will go under tonight or tomorrow when the water from up-stream gets here.

Then we got home and my Beloved was looking for his shovel to shift a tree that is not happy in our backyard and he found a little situation:-

This is our house. We are built on a slope, so the garage is downstairs at the back, but the front is not full head-height.

This means that there's a space under the front part of the house which is not built in. My Beloved has been very clever and put drainage channels to stop the water getting in under the house.

Unfortunately this meant that water that gets in can't get out. We inadvertantly had a good start for the first canine hydrotherapy pool in town.

My Beloved dug a ditch to let the water out. The LBD 'helped'.

There must have been about 5cms of water lying against the slab for the garage floor.

And this is part of the culprit. The ground is so sopping wet that we have springs developing in the cutting under the house. There were a number of spots leaking.

It seems the project to get a retaining wall and put a concrete slab that drains to the outside may be more of a priority than we thought.

How much more rain do we need around here?

Why I had to go to Donut King.

2010-12-24T14:04:00.003+10:00

I celebrated the death of four kilos today.

You'd think that as a result I'd be bouyed up with resolve to hold onto it for the next week of plenty of opportunity to eat very badly indeed.

But no.

You see, I had to go to Donut King.

And they sell warm, cinnamony, sugary donuts there.

And I love warm, cinnamony, sugary donuts.

I avoid the shopping centre like the plague because they have a Donut King.

But today I just had to go.

Why? You may ask.

My Grandad likes thickshakes.

We usually buy him a voucher for Donut King so that he can get some when he goes up the street (he doesn't get out all that much anymore). The man who owns the shop knows him and has been known to make the thickshake so thick you can hardly suck it up through the straw. He's also happy to cross off part of the value of the voucher so that Grandad can have multiple trips. This is the beauty of living in a country town.

So I went to buy a voucher for my Grandad.

...and I smelled the doughyness of the cooking donuts.

And the chance that leaving the shopping centre my mouth didn't have that delightful doughy tongue-sticking-to-my-hard-palate post-donut sensation?

You know you need to clean your house when...

2010-12-22T10:05:00.003+10:00

I was Zumbaing in my lounge room (DVDs are not as good as a real class, but a whole lot cheaper and can be on at times that are convenient to me), pounding my bare feet into the hardwood surface as I twisted and grooved when I evidently picked up some stray LBD fur on the ball of one foot.

And the chance I would ever try to Zumba in socks?

A problem. A solution. A problem. A solution.

2010-12-10T20:44:00.005+10:00

My name is Hippomanic Jen, and I'm a book-aholic.

I love to read books.

I love to buy books.

I love to reread books.

I hate to give them away, because I might want to read it later.

I once answered a phone poll, and among other things they wanted an estimate of how many books I own. The options were along the following lines:

a 0 books
b 1 book
c 2 or 3 books
d 4 or more books.

I was astounded. So astounded that I can remember that the first and last options were 0 and 4 or more respectively. Who would have fewer than 4 books in their possession? I still don't know what the question was trying to acheive.

When we were having Dad design the house one of the essentials on the list was a wall to place our bookcases against that wasn't in a bedroom. I've known people who have had to give away thier libraries when they are expecting their second child, because they need the spare room for the new baby. This was not going to happen to us.

But over time, one acquires more books (particularly if one is studying and/or needs resources for preaching).

Then one ends up with the following problem:

Books on a cupboard in my office.

One of two huge bookcases full of books against the book wall my Dad made certain was in the house plans (it would've helped if I'd rotated the image, but you get the drift).

Books on a small shelf in the spare bedroom (it needed to be rotated too).

Books on a shelf in the cupboard in our bedroom.

Hmmm. Even though I have brought myself to do some selective culling of the book population, there are a few issues.

1. I'm asthmatic and seem to be having a problem with house dust.

2. I'm a terrible housekeeper and never have time to dust all the bookshelves.

3. I really need to rationalise book locations. After all, there is a perfectly good book wall to have a consolidated library.

The solution:

We priced cabinets with doors to keep out / minimise the dust and that would take up the entire length of the book wall (which had some space for more bookcases - but inevitably not enough length to fit the little bookcase that lives in the spare bedroom).

We measured the lineal metres of shelf required. Checked out what was available, and ordered three units (2 x 1200mm wide units and 1 x 600mm wide unit). If the skirting and cornice was removed from the sides, and they were made to fit together, they should fit perfectly. We looked at the example in the furniture shop and decided that the shelves were reasonably spaced, and that if we got the 2100mm high rather than the 1800mm high units we would get an extra shelf and that would get us closer to our desired lineal metres of shelf.

They came today.

They looked pretty.

They were heavy for the blokes to manhandle.

My Beloved had to take the skirting board off the walls along the book wall so that they'd fit. We were really hoping that the walls of the alcove were plumb. We joined the three units together and then slid them back into the space.

My Beloved pushed on the joins with his feet and I ran back and forth and pushed the ends back little by little until it fit snugly into the space.

Beautiful, hey?

Unfortunately, despite their beauty and the functionality of the new bookcases there is a problem.

We decided not to specify the distance between the shelves, because we decided that what they had was about right, why would we stuff them around any more? They were already putting doors on, and taking skirting and cornice off, and making them to fit neatly together.

It didn't even cross my mind that a taller 2100mm high bookcase would have THE SAME NUMBER OF SHELVES as the 1800mm one. (Doesn't everyone want to absolutely maximize how many books they can store? Or I might want to have all my 4 books on separate shelves, you know.)

And who would guess that those shelves would be evenly spaced, so there's not a hope of putting an extra shelf in between two existing shelves, because they are all 370mm apart and my shortest books are all 190mm tall.

One of the things I was looking forward to was not having books stacked on their sides.

Another was not having two rows of books on the shelf so that you can't see the back ones.

Grrrrr.

But my very clever Beloved has come up with a solution.

The smaller books could be stored in two rows with one behind. But this means you can't see what you've got.

However, by putting a half width shelf along the back that is slightly lower than the top of the front row (and entirely behind them) we can raise a back row so that the majority of each spine will be visible.

He is very clever, my Beloved.

And the chance that I'll let him go?

Welcome!

2010-12-06T11:09:00.003+10:00

As of 11pm last night our niece Giggles has a new little sister!

Just over 3 kilos (7 pound 10 for the ancient among you). She even has a real name - but not a blog name just yet. I will need to work on that, but need to wait until I've actually met her and can come up with something suitable.

Giggles has been telling everyone that she is going to be such a good big sister. The baby can sleep in her room and she can look after her when she cries, and carry her into Mummy and Daddy... Chances?

Irony

2010-11-26T12:58:00.000+10:00

I had to do some comparison shopping for house and contents insurance today.

Having found a better price by changing companies and some judicious rearrangement of excess and what's covered, I had to give the new company all the details.

I wanted to insure my laptop separately, so had to turn it upside-down in order to read off the model and serial numbers.

I dropped it.

And broke the plastic cover over the hinge on one side.

Chance the existing insurance policy would pay out for an accident that happened while I was arranging insurance with a different company?

(and okay, it wouldn't be covered for such a tiny amount of damage anyway).

King Kong?

2010-11-17T15:21:00.003+10:00

While I was away - had a great time, thanks for asking - Emily Sue needed to get some cat-related stuff and while we were in the pet shop I bought a Kong toy for the Little Black Dog. The vet had suggested it as it keeps a dog's brain active and isn't too hard on their back legs if they just nuzzle and chew it, trying to get the treats out of the inside.

So I bought one.

Filled it with doggie treats and put it down for the LBD. Moved it with my toe to make it interesting.

So now the game goes like this: I move the Kong around with my foot. Every so often food falls out. The LBD eats it. Then looks at me for more. I move the Kong around with my foot...

The chance that this is how it is supposed to work?

Goin' ta Melbin

2010-11-06T16:25:00.003+10:00

I'm on holidays next week.

And I'm going away - on a plane.

I have 6 nights at a wonderful resort in Melbourne where I've been promised a bed with two four-footed masseuses (and the male is a hunk - I've seen photos); trips to try the local cuisine; an A-list party at an exclusive venue; and a trip to a luxurious day spa where I can sleep on a comfy couch whilst reading great literature.

So I'll be seein' ya.

But the chance I'm enjoying watching the news at the moment? I'll have to book a seat where I can make certain those engines are still operating effectively.

I'm shrinking!

2010-11-03T22:11:00.002+10:00

I had heard that as we age we begin to shrink, but what no-one told me was that it can start before age 40 and can be very quick to occur...

...or maybe my Beloved just wound the washing line up so that he could mow under it on the weekend.

And the liklihood that I didn't put it back?

I've got nuthin'

2010-10-25T10:40:00.003+10:00

There is absolutely nothing happening here. Nothing funny, nothing worth saying.

I warned you.

I'm just wondering whether the giant ground beetle on the 55c stamp is going to eat the tiny coral rabbitfish on the 5c stamp.

I'm wondering if putting the detergent in the sink, then running the water, then realising that I hadn't put the plug in is an indication of early onset dementia.

I'm wondering if doing Koine Greek first semester next year is going to drive me batty, and whether being excited about it is grounds for declaring me mad.

But how much interesting stuff do I have to post?

Three Hundred Words

2010-10-15T15:10:00.005+10:00

These are the final words that I had to ditch or bung into footnotes in order to get my assignment completed. Of course, I needed to take out more than 300 in order to put more words in to make things intelligible.

It has been submitted.

With 2996 words.

I am free.

the following questions will be addressed. First, what does Paul mean when he talks about “law” or “the law”? Is there a difference discernable from the particular terminology he uses? Second, what is it that Paul states outright that the law is not? Third, if the law is not something, what then is its purpose or role? How does it function? Fourth, what is the context for Romans? Lastly, what are the possible conflicts that come from Paul’s treatment of the law in Romans, and does the context help resolve them? which can and that really However, Romans does challenge the privileged status of the Jews, and their false confidence that God in his grace will accept them, and that their sin is not as bad as the sins committed by the Gentiles living around them The law brings our sin to our attention. Romans 4:15 (NRSV) Morris explains that our passions are passive, such that experiences happen to them. goes further to: “But if you call yourself a Jew and rely on the law and boast of your relation to God and know his will and determine what is best because you are instructed in the law... For as it is written, ‘The name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you.’” In particular the food laws, Sabbath, and circumcision were at times ridiculed by the surrounding Gentile population. it each of which may shed light on that seem to occur These are Some can be hazarded within life in Rome with a double character but modern theologians This has lead to outside of the contexts of both Paul and Rome Sanders does not find all Paul’s arguments convincing to the contemporary mind, even if his basic views are true. must confess have a for that Gorman would remind us that We do not have to choose between these classifications could make As such, . , including questions like “What is Israel’s role in salvation-history?”, and “What is the function of Torah/circumcision?” would would Romans can be dense and confusing because Paul’s style, thought patterns, and argument are not familiar to modern thought. as discussed above for , as it causes division , his crucial saving act because of himself Jewish to the

How much sense do they make out of context?

You see, there's this assignment...

2010-10-08T11:16:00.002+10:00

Yes.

I've been very quiet.

Hardly had the computer on, in fact.

Pretty desperately trying to get the reading done on my final major research assignment that is due next Friday. A week. And I'm still reading. *Sigh*

That's in addition to the fact that tomorrow's the church Spring Fair.

And the fact that the LBD must be walked or he won't get his leg back working properly. Tried a swimming session today, but it was cold, misting rain and frigid breeze. I wasn't happy being up to my knees in the water, and the LBD had more sense than to try swimming.

So how much time am I spending on line until next Friday?

Lessons from Lolly-Making

2010-10-02T21:06:00.003+10:00

My Mum and I had a lolly-making working bee at our house today. It's the church's Spring Fair next Saturday. Together we made 5 trays of French Jellies, 1 of triple layer Marshmallow, and I made chocolate fudge after Mum left.

This was a pretty good day's work, lots of standing over pots and stirring involved (and one panicked call to my Grandmother seeking explanation of a weird thing that was happening).

The lessons for today involve:

The stove heats up the mixture best if it is turned on at the wall;
Avoid dropping the lid off the colour bottle into the jelly mixture;
It is easier to have two people working in a kitchen if one of them is NOT doing Zumba moves;
Marshmallow cut into dainty squares in the container will grow into mammoth squares once rolled in coconut;
If in doubt whether the chocolate fudge is up to standard, don't tell your husband that he'll have to eat it if it isn't before he's pronounced sentence.

How much chocolate fudge is going to make it to the Spring Fair?

A Letter From Grandma

2010-09-29T11:13:00.004+10:00

In case you can't read Grandma's writing, this is what it says,

This is a funny story - Grandad was reading his paper and minding Peter,
and Peter climbed up on the end of the banana-bed. Grandad put his foot on
the top to stop it tipping up, then he had to put his other foot on the table to
stop him from tipping up, then he had to call for someone to grab
Peter.

How much do I care if this might be embarrassing to some of my 'lations?

P.S. Peter is my cousin. He is also now famous (well, maybe not internationally famous, but certainly around the regions wherer he's worked). I'm still claiming I have a famous cousin.

Dear Doctor...

2010-09-28T16:40:00.002+10:00

I am writing to request transfer of my records to my local veterinary surgery on the following grounds:-

I took my Little Black Dog to visit the vet today, and was actually in the car on my way home a whole minute BEFORE my appointment time.
He didn't charge me for the consultation because it was just to check that things were healing properly (but when he charges me it's still cheaper despite not getting a Medicare refund).
He must know his stuff, because he treats a number of different species of animals (and his patients can't explain what is wrong).

How legal would this be? *sigh*

Why?

2010-09-28T07:58:00.000+10:00

There was a man.

Standing on the steep roof of an old Queenslander house.

With a green grocery bag in his hand.

The chance I had my camera with me as I drove into town?

The Dog in my Kitchen

2010-09-27T14:00:00.002+10:00

There should not be a dog in my kitchen.

The Little Black Dog is not allowed to go in the kitchen.

He believes that he is not allowed to be CAUGHT in the kitchen.

There is a difference.

At the moment a three legged dog on timber floors has resulted in a few falls, which has made him worried about walking on the timber floors, which means that he then tried to run quickly, which meant that he stacked it faster, which meant that he wouldn't walk anywhere, which has resulted in me putting down every old towel we possess to give him traction and make doggy highways between his favourite resting places.

Now, though, he will go off the towels and not be able to turn around (the turning seems to increase the liklihood of falls). This has resulted in him getting himself stranded in the middle of the timber and making a huge fuss about being lifted back onto the towels. It is not easy if he gets himself stranded under the dining room table.

Why does he leave the towels in the first place? How does he get himself into the middle of nowhere, and why can't he get back?

But today I caught him in the kitchen. I ordered him out. He looked at me with the, "I'm a poor lame puppy who can't walk on the timber" look that he has perfected, lay down on the floor and went floppy. He's really difficult to pick up when he goes floppy. I carefully pushed all 19 kilos of him around the bench with my foot, handily mopping up some water I'd spilled when filling the ice-cube trays.

The chance that he's not bunging it on when it suits him?

I have proof that I'm co-ordinated!

2010-09-18T20:42:00.003+10:00

Those who know me in real life will be very intrigued by the title. It might not seem consistent with what they know of me.

Anyone who's been following this blog for a bit may also be somewhat surprised by the title.

A couple of weeks ago I went to my first Zumba session. I loved it. I went again the next night!

My Beloved and I came to a budgetary agreement that for the next two months I'm allowed as much Zumba as I can get to, based on the fact there are only 4 sessions in the week here in town (unless I wanted to back to back a couple, and I think I'd probably die!) and that I have stuff on for one of the others (except in the school holidays).

So due to other commitments and illness I've managed to get to two sessions the first week, one the second, and I could only make it to one last week.

So as of Wednesday night I'd done all of 4 sessions. Some of it is getting easier.

Anyway the local high school had its annual Rodeo and showcase thing with rides and entertainment before the rodeo. The Zumba ladies had been asked to do a display, hopefully to get the crowd involved.

They were a little short on people to help demonstrate.

In fact they were desperate.

I know they were desperate, because they asked someone who has only done 4 sessions to come and help them.

They asked me.

I figure I was the large, unco-ordinated one that proved to the crowd that anyone can do this.

And I know I have a maniacal grin plastered on my face when I do Zumba firstly because it's fun and secondly because there's every chance I will entirely stuff it up. It's like a preemptive laugh at myself for being on the wrong foot or raising the wrong hand for at least a third of the proceedings.

But I couldn't help going for an additional session in my week (which was free!).

And the chance that all the newbie high school girls got it down better than me their first go?

(Well you'd hope not!)

2:15

2010-09-17T02:14:00.003+10:00

AM.

Some advice:

When writing an assignment, if you have about another hour of work to do (so that it can be handed in tomorrow), DO NOT decide at 9.30pm that it's a good idea to entirely restructure it.

On the other hand, the chance it isn't much better now?

I really need better notes

2010-09-15T20:38:00.006+10:00

When I'm writing assignments, I have to wade through pages and pages of notes I've taken while I've been reading in preparation.

It can be quite interesting, particularly when I started reading weeks ago, so the matter from the first few books is not fresh in my brain.

There are times when I've obviously been tired and unable to reduce a good quote to notes, so I've written out the whole paragraph.

There are times I've used obscure abbreviations and hieroglyphs for particular terms.

There are times when I've used particularly bad handwriting (even worse if it's in Greek script).

And there are times when I come across gems like this, "Big Julie refounded Corinth as a colony - 44BC"

How much money would you bet me that I haven't been exposed in childhood to quotes from "Rinse the Blood off my Toga"?

- Thanks Grandad.

A Beautiful Rainy Day

2010-09-10T14:56:00.005+10:00

There is something so relaxing on your day off about waking to the sound of rain on the roof. It's been raining on and off all day and it is just lovely. I love rain. Anyway it comes.

The little watercourse that I can see from the back of our house is showing water beyond the line of the reeds where it is most likely to be wet.

Our rainwater tank is overflowing and creating a small lake where the water waits to pass into the neighbour's yard or soak in.

Our newly prepared vegie patch (my Beloved was busy last week and topsoiled, fertilised and mulched it ready for some new plants) is looking wet, and our sticks are continuing to put up fresh leaves.

And in celebration of a rainy lazy day I offer you another letter from my Grandma...

When Judy and John play tennis Grandad and Grandma watch them from the window.

And the chance that I'm not feeling lazy and sleepy on such a beautiful day?

Fancy-Schmanzy Architects may have a point.

2010-09-09T13:40:00.003+10:00

At different times I've seen photos of swish houses where the en-suite has two basins.

Sometimes I've seen them on TV.

You'd reckon that I might at some point have stayed in a hotel room with this feature, but we don't stay in places that cost that much. Even in Asia.

I've always thought that it would just mean more work cleaning...

... but last night as I was wiping down the handbasin in our en-suite I reflected on the fact that two basins (as long as they were strictly 'his' and 'hers') would give clear evidence of who was the messy one who therefore is the one who should be wiping down the handbasin.

Same location, same amount of atmospheric dust and linty fluff, same degree of 'hardness' or 'softness' in the water. Different user.

How impressed was I to find a blob of toothpaste in the clean basin this morning?

Tad Troubling to the Ticker

2010-09-08T20:11:00.003+10:00

Title just for Givinya, who has been enjoying my recent alliterative titles.

This one took a while.

I'm surprised I'm up to blogging.

Particularly summing up what I want to say in five words starting with the same letter.

You see, it is a study night and I'm supposed to be working on the reading for my second assignment. The plan is to finish the reading this week, then write it next in time for the deadline next Friday.

Okay, I've got to prepare a sermon for church on Sunday in the middle there somewhere, but as I'm sneakily using the same text as my assignment is on it should be the best researched sermon I've ever given, without taking up any extra time in the reading department.

So far that's fine.

Checked my email as I settled down to my desk. There were emails for a spate of Forum posts for the subject, so I'd better have a quick squizz.

One from the lecturer which included the words, "Friday is also the due date for Assignment 2, and ..."

I did not read the rest of the comment because my poor brain was fixated on the fact that Assignment 2, that I had marked in my diary as due on the 17th of September, was in fact due IN TWO DAYS TIME!!!!

The human brain is marvellous. It can race to top gear in a split second. People who think they are going to die speak of seeing their whole life flash before their eyes.

My brain can take in all that still needs to happen in the time frame and come up with the obvious answer that it is probably not possible, even though the lecturer had said Sunday evening was fine if we needed the weekend to finish (which wouldn't help me very much, because I have a service to prepare for).

Anyway, maybe I could get something submittable done with a couple of all nighters, and by not doing any more reading (leaving my Bibliography woefully short, unless I did the read-two-random-pages-in-each-of-the-remaining-books-and-hope-there's-something-I-can-reference thing).

My brain then flicked to wonder precisely how dumb it would sound to write and request an extention on the grounds that I can't read a Study Outline.

Then flicked to think that I needed to check the Study Outline, because I was certain it was the 17th not the 10th. I mean, I've done some dumb stuff before, but...

All this took about 0.3 seconds.

5 years of which was spent staring at the email in dawning horror.

Thankfully, the next email was from a concerned student who was certain that the due date was the 17th, not the 10th.

There was another on much the same topic.

And a response from the lecturer apologising because he had the date wrong.

How much did my blood pressure require the exercise?

... Approximately None!

The Traitress

2010-09-08T14:08:00.002+10:00

I am a horrible woman.

Multiple times a day I am taking advantage of the willingness and obedience of a Little Black Dog.

I lure him into the laundry, put the bucket collar on him, then lock him in and go off to whatever is in the diary for the day.

His little eyes reproach me.

And the next time I tell him to go through the door he still does it uncomplainingly.

He waits for my return.

Either he is stupid or he loves me very, very much.

And, for the record, how much higher is my IQ than his?

... Approximately None!

The Triumvirate of Terror

2010-09-07T16:14:00.002+10:00

Pretty spectacular-sounding title, hey?

Might be a bit of an overkill.

...Maybe.

My Mum and her two sisters are having a week together this week. Mum's younger sister from Brisbane picked Mum up on Sunday and the two of them have flown to Victoria to spend the week with their older sister in the deep south.

Doesn't sound too scary when it's put like that, but it is enough to send my uncle fleeing the country.

Well, okay, he was leaving the country anyway which is why the girls decided to have the week together. But it sounds better the other way around.

What odds will I give you that Victoria will still be standing by this time next week?

... Approximately None.

After today I think I've confirmed everyone's suspicions that I'm a bit air-headed...

2010-09-06T16:06:00.004+10:00

It has been one of those days.

7.30am - Prayer breakfast

8.45am - Get home and take a picture as a background for our church's new website banner (for September - yep, right in time for the new month). Download it. Put the necessary writing on it. Get onto the admin site and upload the image. Realise that it has a typo. Not an important one, or anything. Just the name of the town the church is located in.

10.20am - Frustrated at not getting the website update finished, but take the LBD to the vet to get his dressing changed and for the vet to make sure that everything is looking good. It is, he's walking on it, but doesn't like the sticky bandage coming off. Pushes against me so hard that his good back leg falls off the table and he tries to take all his weight on the bad one.

10.55am - Put dog in the laundry because I have to go out soon. Madly work on the computer to fix the typo, re-upload September's website banner and fix it. Try to insert a new news article, that doesn't end up showing on the public site, but I have to go out again...

11.30am - Meeting with one of our music ladies about a potential solo for Sunday. Words of song are perfect for the service. Can't get onto Sunday's organist. Have a bit of a discussion about deep theological stuff. Get fuel, pick up the hospital pastoral care phone on the way home.

12.45pm - Get home, put some soup in the microwave to defrost. Check dog. He has managed to eat or in other ways get rid of half his bandage. Ring vet. I can bring him straight down. Great.

1pm - try to lift resisting dog out of the back of the car. Drag him into the vet. Vet fixes new bandage. Buy pigs ears to try to keep the LBD entertained while I'm gone.

1.15pm - Put soup on to reheat. Find the LBDs bucket-collar in the back of the top shelf of the cupboard so that he can't eat his bandage. Gather materials for 2pm meeting, remembering the letter I have to post, and the CD to leave for someone at the office.

1.30pm - eat lunch quickly. Burn tongue.

1.45pm - Grab dog. Put on bucket collar, grab pig ear in other hand, then pick up the dog to carry him downstairs to the laundry. Try to push him into the laundry, despite his unwillingness and the fact that the bucket collar gets stuck on the door, which can't open fully because he's rearranged all his bedding. Run upstairs and grab handbag and stuff I need.

1.50pm - Realise that my car/house keys are not in my handbag. They are not on my desk. They are not in the kitchen. They are not in the bedroom. Put everything down and check each of these places three times. Stop and think about what I did when I first got home. Check the shelves in the cupboard where the bucket-collar was. Grab keys. Grab stuff.

2.03pm - Apologise for being late to the meeting. Have meeting to organise Sunday's service. Find out that our organist is away and is not due back til the end of the week. Scrap potential solo.

3.30pm - pack up stuff after meeting. Decide to have a quick run-through of a new song for Sunday (to be accompanied by guitar). Realise that I've lost the CD I had to leave in the office for someone to pick up. Go through all the stuff I have with me. It isn't there. Check the car, my path between the car and the church hall, the office and the meeting room three times each.

3.40pm - Decide that I really need to get home to my Little Black Dog.

3.47pm - Find CD and letter I was going to post on my desk. Ring the lady who was going to pick up the CD. Get her husband. She's just left for the church. Leave message. Ring church. Leave message.

Just now - get new email with the minutes of last week's meeting to plan the Spring Fair. Realise that I should have been there and wasn't because it had entirely slipped my mind.

What amount of respect am I going to have from my church after today's little effort?

... Approximately None!

I like Spring, too.

2010-09-03T10:45:00.002+10:00

Okay, so I don't like the weeds.

And I don't like the fact that when you take off your jumper you can't keep pretended that the extra Jen is just the added bulk of heavy clothing.

But it is a truly beautiful day.

And the air has a special promise of good things to come.

Yesterday was the first time I'd worn a skirt in months.

And the chance that I didn't have to spend a little more time in the shower and a permit for vegetation removal in preparation for my lilly white legs being on display?

... You guessed it! (Not that it's too hard to guess, really)

The LBD is AOK

2010-09-02T15:33:00.003+10:00

Just letting you know that the LBD's surgery yesterday went well. He spent the night at the vet's (it was a late surgery due to the vet having to semen test 30 bulls in the morning - glad that it isn't my job!) and was very glad to see me this morning.

Chris popped in to see him last night and got a groggy tail thump.

The LBD loves his Daddy.

His back leg is strapped up in a crimson bandage that he is determined to eat. Whatever is left will come off on Monday, we go back to get stitches out a week later, then we can start with the slow walks as he improves.

How much excitement is there in his life right now?

... Approximately None!

Resurrection

2010-08-31T17:39:00.004+10:00

For Christmas last year I bought three tiny trees for my Beloved.

The plan was that we will have some shade in our yard one day.

There's something very disheartening about buying deciduous trees, though. By the time they were planted out in February the leaves all started screwing themselves up and dying.

Not encouraging.

Surely they are supposed to lose their leaves in autumn?

However, I've continued to water our three sticks over the winter, and last weekend noticed this:

Beautiful focus on the weeds, hey?

How likely is it that Spring doesn't start tomorrow?

...Approximately None!

Out for the rest of the Season

2010-08-30T14:56:00.003+10:00

My Beloved watches football.

I know, it's a character flaw, but I love him anyway.

So during the last 9 years I have learnt a whole lot of things I did not previously know.

When there's AFL on one station, League on another, an international cricket match on a third and lawn bowls on good ol' aunty it does not mean that there's "nothing on tv."

Or so I've been told.

I can have a pretty good go at putting together the name, location and colours of most of the Leauge and AFL teams.

I have some understanding of the the general timing for the State of Origin.

And I know it is a real problem when the teams lose their star players in August, because if their injury is bad enough, they are out for the rest of the season.

One of the big ones I've heard of is when they 'do' their cruciate ligament.

I might as well tell you at this point that our LBD is out for the rest of the season.

He was very lame (sadly, in his good back leg) on Friday night, I took him to the vet Saturday and he's having surgery on Wednesday. He's done a good enough job that the vet could tell by manipulation of the joint.

Poor baby puppy.

So we have to keep him quiet for a week/10 days after surgery. Good luck to us.

The good news is that dogs that do one leg are very likely to do the other. How exciting is that news?

... Approximately Not at All.

A Story Based on Luke 14:7-11

2010-08-27T21:34:00.006+10:00

And the chance that I'll spend as much time on the actual "grown up" sermon?

... Approximately None!

The cold that Will. Not. Die.

2010-08-26T20:52:00.002+10:00

I'm nearly over it.

I hope.

I have said that on at least 3 other occasions in the last couple of months.

It is lingering.

It is not an infection.

Therefore there isn't much the doctor can do about it.

But she has put me on a whole heap of supplements to strengthen my immune system, a magic nasal spray that I could only use for three days, and suggested keeping away from the hospital for a bit.

Still sneezing.

Still coughing.

Still fighting sleep each afternoon.

And the chance that I'm not soooo over being sick?
... Mmmm.

But the fish oil makes your hair all soft and shiny.

The post I couldn't be bothered logging on to post...

2010-08-23T14:26:00.002+10:00

It was Saturday night.

I had failed to remember that it was one of those nights where it would have been a really good idea to make a quick stop at the video shop so that we had something to watch.

It was the Federal Election.

Each of the four free stations had election round up starting at 6pm.

6pm?

The polling booths only close at 6pm!

We really need to get a set-top box.

So here we have Channel Hippomania's Election coverage:

Greta: So, Stanley, it's been a big day all over Australia as people have gone to the polls.

Stanley: You are so right, Greta. (excitedly) And now the counting can begin...

Greta: Well actually, Stanley, in the vote for the marginal seat of Stuffeditallup is already showing an AMAZING swing - 100% of the votes counted are for Labor so far...

Stanley: That's unprecedented, Greta! Who would have thought that would happen?

Greta: ... And in news just in, they've counted another two votes and it looks like an even 50-50 split...

The chance that I watched any of it?

... Approximately None! But please someone let me know when we have a Prime Minister.

ibid. et al.

2010-08-18T19:20:00.003+10:00

It's all coming back now.

I've been struggling with this assignment. The reading was lengthy and then I had no idea where to start. Blank pages are scary. It's been a bit of a while since I last had to write a piece of scholarly work, but today everything was finally coming together.

Good thing, really, given that it's due this week.

I just had to reduce the text down to the required word limit and format all the references and viola, it would be done.

I always used to use in-text referencing. I hate the way it clutters the text, but it is easy to work with in the drafting process. Also, when I first started study all those years ago the dodgy word processing equipment couldn't do automatic footnotes that stayed on the same page and renumbered themselves when you added something in.

But in order to reduce my essay to the required length (and a quarter as much again has got to be too much), I decided to bung the excess text into footnotes for some of my discursive "by the way..." arguments and that was really wierd having both notes and in-text references.

So I decided to change to footnotes.

Then remembered the other reason that I never have liked noting.

To note effectively, one must remember what all the latin abbreviations stand for: ibid., op.cit., loc. cit., etc.

And once I'd finished I had MORE words than I'd started with.

The chance I'd unchecked the box that said, "include end and footnotes"
... Approximately None!

Perils of Speedy RE Preparation

2010-08-17T10:15:00.003+10:00

Trying to get everything done for my Religious Education class for this morning. I take a grade 2 class and they are lovely. Noisy and never still, but lovely.

Just quickly trying to copy and then highlight some verses I need them to read out. Quickly grabbed one - Jeremiah 31:3 "... Israel, I will always love you; that's why I have been so patient and kind."

Lovely thought for the day. God is patient and kind and loving. Great.

Onto the next one I read quickly Jeremiah 3:2 "Just try to find one hilltop where you haven't gone to worship other gods by having sex."

What!?! That can't be right! Definitely not age-appropriate. Check the reference.

Jeremiah 3:12 "... Israel, I am your Lord - come back to me! You were unfaithful and made me furious, but I am merciful, and so I will forgive you."

That's more like it.

How funny would it have been if I hadn't actually read the selections, then given them out to my unsuspecting 8 year olds?

... Approximately NONE!!!

Eat Your Heart Out Maid Marion

2010-08-16T09:48:00.004+10:00

Okay, so I don't want to perpetuate the popular image of Maid Marion from a certain television show that I only used to watch to drool over Guy of Gisbourne*, but will ever sacrifice tradition to a reasonably catchy title.

And I did sort of get a nick-name from some of the blokes at the regional youth and family camp that makes the reference relevant.

I did Archery as an elective at the camp.

Lots of the blokes brought their children down, but I ended up being the only adult woman who had chosen this particular elective when many of the others were up at the main hall making craft. Others attended a discussion group, and a few were off try to get babies down for a little sleep.

I'm a bit of a freak.

I was idly sitting awaiting the start of proceeding when I recognised Peanut from over at "Graze". Then I recognised her big brother and dad, who had all come out for the day. I should not have been surprised because I know they go to one of the churches that was coming.

Having referred to Peanut by her given name, and having been corrected by dad, I began to wonder if he really wanted me to introduce him at lunchtime as "Yummy Hubby"? I should have asked.

But didn't.

He's a policeman. I didn't want to get him off-side.

I caught up with Crazy Sister who brought out the kids on Sunday. Got to see her new house with the huge kitchen and everything on the way home! (Seriously envious of the kitchen. And the beautiful glossy white architraves and skirting boards - but not of the red dirt. Red dirt goes everywhere!)

But thanks to Yummy Hubby who took the photos and to Crazy Sister who emailed them, I can share these with you. Yummy Hubby takes pretty impressive photos, and I love that my double chin is hidden by the angle. I should employ him as my personal photographer.

Nice instructor who was helping with a technique for drawing back that would not involve the sort of injury to which, as the only adult female, I was the only one susceptible.

Then he also helped with release technique that added some more POWER to my arrows (possibly helped by the fact I was no longer worried about the chance of injury). Then I no longer needed to aim higher than I wanted to hit.

How many of my arrows struck gold?

... You think you're so smart - but as a matter of fact I managed to be the first one (apart from the instructor) to hit gold, but also got another couple later on. Hence spending the next 24 hours being referred to as Maid Marion by one of the blokes.

It appears that archery is a sport that requires no ability to catch, throw, hit moving projectiles with an implement, run, be flexible or have any sort of cardio-vascular fitness. I should take it up.

And how many of my arrows missed the target entirely?
... Approximately None

* Was that bad casting or what?! Aren't you supposed to like Robin Hood? And not be relieved when the seriously irritating maid Marion finally can't be irritating anymore?

What? You mean I'm supposed to have value for worth of character? Oh. Yes, I suppose you're right. I mean, of course you are.

You know you're avoiding study when...

2010-08-11T11:22:00.004+10:00

You actually listen to the 'really good deal' on your phone bill the Indian voice (who very firmly said she was from Melbourne) on the other end of the phone is trying to sell you.

I took notes and everything.

After the second time through (I got handed up to Janet's supervisor) I decided I was wasting my time, but had some difficulty ending the phone call.

So how much study have I got done in the last 10 minutes?
... Approximately None. (now back to Antioch and the assignment I really need to finish this week)

You know your week is off to a brilliant start when...

2010-08-09T11:12:00.005+10:00

You offer to check the church Post Office Box while you're there to buy stamps for a whole heap of kids group invitations. So the office lady hands over her key.

You get to the post office, only to remember that you should have asked what the Post Office Box number is, because you can't remember.

You ring the church office to check, sound like a total idiot, but manage to get the mail. Then you go inside to buy stamps and remember that the 40-odd letters you are holding ALL have the church's return address printed on them.

How brilliant is my week looking?

... hmmmpf

Finding my own level

2010-08-06T10:57:00.002+10:00

I've always been a bit of a klutz.

I would have been excellent at sport if only I could throw a ball, catch a ball, run or hit a moving object with any sort of implement.

Having a modicum of balance and flexibility may also have assisted.

Oh, and some cardio-vascular fitness.

As you can see, I was not ever the first person picked on teams at school. And I fear I wasn't a nice person at all because I was always glad that at least I wasn't the last one picked. There was always a very real possibility that I would be, but the team who started picking at least chose me over the very last one left that the other team had to have. *sigh* I am not a nice person sometimes. Particularly when I was in high school.

Yesterday I felt I found my level.

I was throwing balls to a group of 3-5 year olds.

Nice light plastic balls that don't hurt.

Balls that were big enough to catch and hold.

Thrown gently in an arc.

Over a distance of about 1.5 - 2.0 metres.

When my reach is about three times theirs.

And they just expected that I would be able to catch them. There was no judgement. No waiting on me to fail. It was the best time I've ever had that involved round objects in motion.

But the chance that I managed to catch two balls at once when they came at me unexpectedly?

... You guessed it!!!

OH NO!!!!

2010-08-05T18:29:00.003+10:00

Phone numbers are funny things.

Sometimes when you're getting a new one and they ask "Is that okay?" you think about how it has repeated or sequential numbers and you really want to grab it.

On the other hand, maybe the question you should ask is, "Who had it last?"

And they are probably not allowed to tell you due to privacy.

When my whole family first moved to my town we got a number that worked. What we didn't know was that it had used to belong to, let's call them "McFreddy's Transport". Mum's favourite was the irate lady who rang up demanding, "When are you coming to pick up my potatoes?!!" She wanted to answer, "I'd love some spuds, what's your address!" Even 20 years later I think Mum and Dad were getting the occasional Mc Freddy's call.

I think I've blogged before about how my home business number ended up only slightly different from the local police number (if in fact it wasn't a former police number). The 2am calls are the hardest to take. One of the wonderful things about the thought of totally winding up my home business is the fact that we wouldn't get them anymore.

And today the new nightmare began...

In the olden days we had 6 digit phone number locally.

Then they added an additional 2 digits to the front so that they had many, many more numbers to play with for the local area.

BUT - everyone knew that all numbers in town started with the same 2 digits. So now we all had the same 4 digits at the beginning.

EXCEPT - that people are greedy and wanted more numbers, which were available now that we had 8 digit phone numbers, so now we all have the same first 3 digits and the rest might not be the same.

AND - this is a very traditional place, so people still automatically only look at the last 4 digits and ring the "normal" first 4 digits.

I shall illustrate:-

Let's say our number was 4556 1101 - Great number, hey?

It is close to my home business number which was 4556 1189 so that I don't have to remember as many numbers. (Clever idea, hey?)

BUT - the police station were seeking a new range of numbers that would allow for multiple extentions. The community liason officer's number was 4557 1101. So she would put that on brochures for events and things like Seniors' Week and all the old dears start ringing her to RSVP.

ONLY - the old dears know that the first 4 digits for the whole of my town start with 4556. So they all ring 4556 1101 and get me, telling them that Mary is not here. No, it is not the police station. Then panicking because this was our HOME number, not my BUSINESS number and we don't get calls for the police on our HOME number. Please. surely. Help.

But at least I'm guessing that the midnight emergency calls on this number will be...

...approximately none!

It's a Good Thing I Didn't End Up a Teenage Mother

2010-08-03T08:07:00.000+10:00

At lunchtime I will be off to give a religious education lesson to my class of little grade twos.

It quite often ends up as mayhem and I'm not certain what they are actually learning, but they are so enthusiastic and I love them all.

When I was in high school I really wanted to give my hypothetical children distinctive names. I thought it might be nice to use the less popular spellings for traditional names. (This is probably due to the sheer numbers of Jennifers in my classes growing up.)

In more recent years I have repented of that desire.

There are so many variants.

Young Cayleb informed me at the beginning of this term that I spelled his name incorrectly on the front of his book. I had written 'Caleb'. I had written my list with it spelled the way he spelled it, but my brain must have done an automatic spell-check while I wasn't paying attention.

So now there are a whole generation of kids who are going to have to spell their names every single time someone is writing it down.

How much do I wish I was them?

... Approximately None!

Accidental Cleaning

2010-08-02T11:19:00.003+10:00

Sometimes life gets on top of me.

I was away at regional-level church meetings this weekend. It is always great to catch up with representatives from all across this part of Queensland.

But I was busy before I left and so my packing was very much in the "grab and shove" method where you hope you've remembered everything in the 5 minutes you've devoted to the task.

I did remember all my readings and a folder to put them in.

And my pyjamas.

And a toothbrush.

And clean underwear.

So I did pretty well really.

But it was this morning when the fall-out hit me.

You see last week I used the same folder to take notes for a roster that I'm responsible for typing up before the end of this week.

And when you're doing "grab and shove" packing, you do silly things like pull the pages with the roster on it out of the folder and put them on some flat surface somewhere between the place you found the folder and where your bag happened to be when you completed the 'shove' part of proceedings.

And to know where the folder or the bag happened to be during the whole of the whirlwind 5 minutes that you were shoving stuff you remembered into the bag is not easy three days later. My brain was concentrating on "what do I need for Fri/Sat/Sun" not "where did I put the thing I must type up next week".

I've checked the bedroom floor near where I was packing clothes and can't find those pages anywhere.

I've cleaned the dining table and can't find those pages anywhere.

So I've been cleaning my office and can't find those pages anywhere, despite finding lots of other interesting stuff.

And I just pulled out the reports and notes from a weekend's worth of meetings and found the missing pages clipped in the back of the folder.

Right where they would have been from when I took them last week.

So how much work in tidying up my desk remains to be finished?

... well, I still have a little bit to do, but not very much at all!

I take it back...

2010-07-27T17:35:00.003+10:00

There are two yappy dogs that live next door to us. Well, actually one yappy dog and an encourager, but who needs to be that precise?

The neighbours are considerate when they are home, because if the dogs are barking they take them inside so that peace once more reigns supreme, but when the neighbours are out the dogs are very likely to bark continously for extended periods. There's not much that the neighbours feel they can do when they are not home, and I only wish our anti-barking collar would go small enough for us to lend it to them.

Now, dogs bark - and a certain amount of barking I can tolerate in the interests of living in a community that values pet ownership. And I don't like to sound hypocritical because our LBD will bark on occasion, too. Usually specific occasions for a short time. Unfortunately his three or four barks at the postie will start the neighbours off for a good 20 minutes.

Ever since I timed the dogs next door barking for a whole 30 minutes by the clock (before I left home and was very glad to have work to do elsewhere that afternoon), I have wondered precisely how long a yappy dog can yap without pause. (Emily Sue - pun just for you!)

We found out that they have stamina a couple of weeks ago when the dogs had been barking for some time before we sat down to watch tv at 8.30pm and continued to do so until we presume the neighbours came home at 10.52.

PM.

That's more than 2 1/2 hours of barking.

It was not appreciated.

Later in the week they tried it again, and the neighbour over the back yelled at them. I could sympathise.

Then last week was quiet for a couple of days.

I put out multiple loads of washing without needing earplugs for the high pitched squealy bark from next door. Our garage door could go up and down without being serenaded. The LBD could run around his own backyard without being told off by the pip-squeak from next door. We could walk around our house and open curtains without trembling for the noise it could cause.

I began to get worried that something had happened to them. Despite mentally devising excruciating deaths and torture for them over the last couple of months, I actually began to get worried that something had happened to them.

But they are back now and I take back any concern I might have felt for their safety. How glad am I to see them (or more correctly, hear them)?

... Precisely!

Just for "Aunty Rain"

2010-07-26T21:39:00.002+10:00

I've been studying.

And coughing.

And doing lots of reading.

And taking a funeral.

And lying in bed.

But not blogging.

And I should go to sleep now, or the chance I'll be up and working tomorrow?

... Approximately None!

Helpful

2010-07-12T20:12:00.003+10:00

So, I start studying today. Exciting, hey.

Textbooks arrived Friday, Study Guide and Readings today, and this evening I have half a dozen messages in the online forum.

So I have dutifully sat me down to do some reading, closing the study door to keep the television noise at bay and I am continually being interrupted by the LBD deciding to come in.

Among the many idiosyncracies of our house is the fact that we decided to paint it ourselves. This meant that there was no sense in putting the door handles on until the doors were painted (except for bathroom and loo - we decided those were important enough to be removed and replaced when we got around to the painting thing).

So my office door has no means of securing it and it opens in. So the LBD simply pushes his way into the room, bringing the distracting TV noise with him. He doesn't want to settle in here and whenever I put him out he comes back in.

How much work am I getting done?

... Hmmpf

Can Someone get the Feathers Out of My Jam?

2010-07-10T21:05:00.003+10:00

In-keeping with yesterday's culinary post, I submit this post for your entertainment.

This one involves my Mum.

That means it should be quite amusing.

Earlier in the week I happened to look out our bedroom window over to what remains of our kitchen garden.

It's frosty at the moment, and there's not much left of the summer's growth, some strawberries struggling with the morning frost, the last of the spring onions and some leeks that have taken nine months to not really grow much at all. There's also the remnants of what once were verdant basil bushes that went to seed and then died. We haven't pulled them up yet.

I was delighted to see two gentle parrots quietly helping themselves to the seeds. My Beloved and I stood and watched them for a moment before I bethought myself of the camera.

Sorry about the quality of the image. It was a grey day and I took the picture through the fly screen on the window so that I didn't startle them.

We think they were rosellas.

Of course, in a quirky coincidence there is another sort of rosella commonly known in Australia. It is a fruit that is often used to make jam. Many people love rosella jam, but it is not commercially available. You have to know someone who grows rosellas, and not many people seem to grow rosellas because the fruit is only ever used to make jam.

Vicious circle, that.

So when I was talking to my mother on the phone and told her that we had rosellas on our basil bush she was a little confused.

In her experience rosellas are usually grown on a rosella bush.

How many parrots does it take to make jam?
... approximately none!

Pea & Ham Soup with Louisa Musgrove

2010-07-09T20:05:00.004+10:00

Masterchef I ain't.

And there are many reasons for that...

...But sometimes all you need is a little help.

I have never made Pea and Ham soup before, but I carefully froze the ham bone from Christmas, and had time today to give it a go. Fortunately the packet of split peas had a recipe on the back, which I intended to follow.

The first thing is to take your packet of dried split peas and reconstitute them according to the instructions.

So I carefully washed them and put them into a pot with the appropriate amount of water (3 cups of water for each cup of peas). I got the ham bone out of the freezer to defrost, then left the peas to soak and bone defrost while I had some lunch.

Then I noticed that the difference in cooking time between peas that have soaked over night and peas that are being boiled immediately was all of 10 minutes. So I put them on the stove and brought them to the boil, then reduced the heat to allow them to simmer for 35 minutes.

The pot boiled over - all over the bench and floor.

Then I noticed that the peas were becoming very broken up and suspended in the liquid in a way that made me doubt the wisdom of following the instructions and draining the liquid. I would not have had many actual peas left to make the soup with. So I compromised and put the ham bone, other vegetables and spices in the existing water and went with that.

Having already boiled the pot over, I was wise enough not to leave my pot unattended. I decided that I'd sit and read my book at the dining table and carefully selected the chair at the end of the table that allowed me to see the stove at a glance between paragraphs.

I'm on a bit of a Jane Austen kick this week. I've been sick and haven't felt like reading heavy stuff. I'm in the middle of "Persuasion" and, for those who are familiar with the story, I was coming up to the part when they visit Lyme - lyrical descriptions of the town and surrounding scenery, with the slight anxiety in the back of my mind about the tragic accident coming up.

So I was reading about the swelling of the blue-grey tide watched by the tourists at a time when I should have been paying attention to the inexorable swelling of the green tide from the pot on my stove.

Thankfully Pea and Ham soup is thick enough in consistency to simply run all over the bench. It didn't make it to the floor.

How many thanks do I offer to Louisa Musgrove for claiming my attention at the fatal moment?

... Approximately None!

Nine

2010-07-07T21:22:00.003+10:00

There was always going to be some tension in our household today when our ninth wedding anniversary clashes with a State of Origin footy match.

Or at least, there was huge potential as soon as my Beloved informed me when he returned home this afternoon that it was the final State of Origin tonight.

But, for the record, he then informed me that I was more important than the footy.

Then he went and got us some Chinese takeaway from our favourite place because I'm still not well enough to go out in the cold and wet.

And he loves me despite mucous, whey-face, unwashed hair and dark circles under my eyes.

And how much attention would I pay to anyone who told me that he's not the most wonderful Beloved that there happens to be in the Whole Wide World?

... APPROXIMATELY NONE!!!

But for some reason he's off watching TV right now. I wonder what's grabbed his interest?

It's a Good Thing my Dog knows Sign Language...

2010-07-05T17:33:00.003+10:00

Well, he doesn't really. But when we were training him there were certain gestures that went alongside some commands, and I must admit it is useful at times to be able to send him off without words.

Especially today, when the cold in my head has almost entirely removed my voice from usefulness. I can manage an impassioned whisper with occasional squeaks or croaks.

It was frustrating when planning worship for a couple of weeks time not to be able to sing the verse of a song so that everyone knew the tune I was thinking of.

And answering the phone today has been a riot, particularly when woken from a drug-induced doze and totally getting confused about precisely who was answering my message from when. I actually corrected my caller as to who she was.

For the record, she was right.

Anyway, it is frustrating for someone who... well... talks easily not to be able to effectively communicate. Particularly when a Little Black Dog is in the wrong place, and you want him to come in, but you can't inject the appropriate command with sufficient authority to get him to obey. He did follow the finger-snap and point. Quickly. Good Dog!

The number of words I've managed today?

... Approximately None!

Remember This Time Last Year?

2010-06-24T20:13:00.005+10:00

This weekend we're heading to the Coast for Giggles' birthday party.

She is three.

The chance that I'm sad about BUYING a present this year?

... Approximately None!

I don't think ducks are very smart...

2010-06-21T09:56:00.002+10:00

There were two.

Crossing the road.

Slowly.

When I saw them, I slowed down.

When they saw me coming they started waddling fast.

Away from the car...

... in the same direction I was travelling.

It made me think of problem solving in maths at school. "If you have a vehicle travelling at 60km/hr how much does it have to slow down in order to miss ducks travelling at x km/hr in the same direction?

The answer is: It depends when they work out that the waddling is just not going to help and they need to fly.

How many of the ducks did I hit?

... Approximately None!

The girl who deserved donuts and didn't buy them.

2010-06-19T11:42:00.001+10:00

I decided to walk down town today. It was a beautiful day and I had a few things to get and so decided to pick up the LBD's lead and take him for a walk.

I walked the 30 minutes into town, left the LBD tied up under a tree, then walked around some shops. Bought two reams of paper and put them in my backpack, picked up the LBD and came home again.

As I left the shopping centre I had to walk past Donut King.

I was tempted.

I didn't stop and buy any.

I felt good about that decision.

But two reems of paper are heavy, and I was struggling for the last little bit of the walk home.

I deserved those donuts, but the chance I regret not buying them?

... Approximately None!

My Favourite Fester Fest

2010-06-17T22:05:00.003+10:00

To Fester (verb). (1) To waste time one should be using for the purpose of study (confined to members of a certain university college about 15-20 years ago, but nonetheless a useful term)

I have no ideas for a post. Approximately None.

Givinya and I were Google Talking and realised that we both were entirely bereft of bloggable material. So we set a topic and are thinking about it. She might not post on it at all. I might not be able to come up with anything, either. But surely taking the amount of festering we managed to fit into our college years we MUST be able to come up with something.

And now I'm worried what embarrassing photos she might have access to.

Or what stories will pop up.

The chance that this was a good idea?
... Approximately None!